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Something’s not right

not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

not coping

im not coping

i cant handle all of these things

besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek

and now within the past few hours

my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.

we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good.

not good at all 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞 😞

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞

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In response to: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor03 Jan 2023, 9:15 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

thank you @Shaz51 @Former-Member @amber22

its just so hard how much my life is run by others but i cant escape it right down to the shifts i can/cant take at work

In response to: Re: not coping

amber22Senior Contributor03 Jan 2023, 9:18 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

It can feel very smothering at times and uncontrollable, you're not alone with those thoughts. Do you have any time off in the next few days that you can pick what you're able to do? Maybe plan a few hours where you can take some time to yourself and do whatever you want to do? @outlander

In response to: Re: not coping

Unknown userMember03 Jan 2023, 9:27 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

@outlander I really, really hear that.

Here for you ❤️

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor03 Jan 2023, 9:28 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

its more the bigger picture @amber22 like i can make decisions but the bigger ones im so restricted and my loyalty or maybe stupidity towards my family is really starting to take a toll.

i want to move out and get my own home but i cant, im just working and supporting my grandfather and someone who moved into my house and wont move out or help pay bills etc. its a long story but i dont really want to get into that atm and i cant change it.

i want to go and study but i feel very restricted in what i can study because again commitments to the family.

i seem to be supporting alot of the family but i cant do anything for myself

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor03 Jan 2023, 9:29 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

@Former-Member above post

In response to: Re: not coping

Shaz51Senior Contributor03 Jan 2023, 9:40 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

@outlander , you have been a carer for a long time now and you are still so young and have had soo many physical health problems over the years

It can at times get very overwhelming at times and I am soo proud of. Knowing you xxxx

@Former-Member , @amber22

In response to: Re: not coping

Unknown userMember03 Jan 2023, 9:41 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

if I'm understanding correctly @outlander, your family commitments and need to care for others means that you feel you can't make bigger life decisions for yourself (like getting your own place or study). Did I understand that correctly?

I can really see how that's been disempowering for you. I've often felt like there are bigger things at play that mean I can't make my own decisions. But for me, the reasons have not often been because of people I support/care for.

What would be helpful for you tonight? just talking it out, or any ideas? ❤️

In response to: Re: not coping

amber22Senior Contributor03 Jan 2023, 9:42 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

Ah I see, I can empathise how tough that would be for you. You sound like you care for so many people, but please remember to put yourself first too. I know that in certain situations that may not be able to be a thing, but if there are little aspects of these circumstances that you can prioritise yourself in then please don't feel guilty doing so. Is there any way that you might be able to study online or do it part-time to make it more financially affordable and better time-wise for you? @outlander

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor03 Jan 2023, 9:47 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

thank you @Shaz51 yes ive been a carer nearly 8 years now.

In response to: Re: not coping

outlanderSenior Contributor03 Jan 2023, 9:50 pm AEDT

Re: not coping

yes @Former-Member i do have health issues that contribute to some decisions but right now i cant make any life decisions because i have to care for my grandfather and help with my sister and that sort of thing

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.