not coping

i will probably be working @Snowie i usually work fridays but i might take friday off.

hopefully youll get go on the slopes too

ive been back at work the last couple of days so its gone abit fast @Snowie
i was also in a car accident but nothing major, just had the car put in for a couple of repairs yesterday but had a loan car so could still get to a couple of appts.

back at work again today but its double time cause of the public holiday thank god. working a couple of hours on friday then think ill have the weekend off. i have to try and work my sick leave and stuff back up cause i have a hospital admission scheduled for december so i need to save up for excess and assistance for pop etc and travel fees as well

i dont understand how someone who doesnt work, wont get a job, doesnt pay rent or other bills, wont contribute to groceries or anything else call other people spoilt just because i asked for my 2 hour away 10 minute appointment be changed to a phone call instead.
i work up to 14 hour shifts several days a week, manage pop, pay all the bills and groceries, manage finances and all of pops care plus my horses. i also travel to other state for medical treatment but because i wanted to change one appointment im spoilt and i wouldnt have lasted back in their day

@Snowie @Sans911 🌼🌸❤️💜💛💚💙

im not really sure what to do. i went back to psychology sessions and on fridays session she has said she wasnt sure what to do to help me.

i appreciate the honestly and the face that she is willinging to walk along my journey with me and still help me but im not really sure what to think.

im getting alot of nightmares again as well but i dont really know why. maybe the stress of my home situation. things need to be dealt with but when i have this family meeting its not going to be easy and life as i know it wont be the same. i feel selfish in many ways for taking opportunities and putting myself first for once.

im torn between 2 worlds