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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

AppleblossomSenior Contributor07 Oct 2017, 11:16 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Former-Member @eudemonism @Adek

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

AdekSenior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 4:46 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Ahh @Former-Member pls don't exhaust yourself if you can't cope. Just take all the time-off here as much as u need. Am just wondering... what made u say i have done so well when i do feel lonely and sad at times. I cry very easily during seminars.. especially when spiritual aspects are being discussed. I always feel the least in everything among my ex-colleagues.. be it in physical, emotional, spiritual and social achievement. Most of my classmates are doctors, specialists, dentists, lecturers even ministers and each have beautiful family and happily married. Used to mix around with them 10-20 yrs ago during gatherings or outings but when they started asking about my personal life, marriage etc...i ceased seeing them. They always meet up along with spouses etc..how can i go alone without having to give excuses each time? Thats how i ended up making new circles of friends amongst single ladies..who never bothered to ask personal questions or go into depth on family matters. We only share knowledge..ask questions to the scholars, apply whats been thought into our lives and make it our daly..weekly or monthly practise.

I wondered how u get along being single for so long @Appleblossom? What do u do when u feel sad and lonely? Sometimes i do feel sick of eating alone all the time..,😢

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

AdekSenior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 12:47 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hey @Bubbles3. I agree with you and as lonely as u are. But i have some great friends on this forum @eudemonism @Appleblossom @Former-Member @A2Z who respond and share valuable experiences with each other here. U might wanna stick around and not feel so alone like me 💐💐

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Bubbles3Senior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 2:19 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Thanks @Adek

I havent seen you around before.

I do feel lonely here sometime. Its probably just me though

How are you going

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

AdekSenior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 2:27 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

I am only into this thread @Bubbles3 cuz i find the sharing here are more into facts and depths.. sometimes religious and heavy stuff too..not just some daily posts and greets. We don't post daily..but when we have time we will respond and sum up or give feedback on everybody's comment. Just 4-5 regulars here.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

AppleblossomSenior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 9:07 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Adek When I was young I was very shy and very lonely.

Now I am older I am used to entertaining myself and a self starter. I still have one child at home, so eat with him. I still feel lonely and would love a partner I could relate and share life with, as well as food.

Teaching part time was helpful in stopping loneliness as I liked my students and their families.

Now I am singing in choirs and working on my "social skills".

It is hard when we compare ourselves with others, but it is also very human and unavoidable in a way. It is good that you have friends who go to lectures with you so you can discuss later.

I pray and mediate a lot and am also very grateful for the forum. I was feeling overwhelmed and alone when I first started posting here over 2 years ago.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor09 Oct 2017, 9:29 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hi all, i hope everyone is going well.

Not much has changed for me same old stuff happening. Week in and week out. But i will say this. There has been seeds which I've planted within myself or others have planted. That have sprung to life and started growing. Which is really great news. It has given me a new leash on life. And is opening up options left right and centre. Less stress. Less pressure. And less negativity all around. A big part of it is prospective and attitude. Along with, speaking what i want to be over myself. And not letting others effect my journey with their words in a negative way. And in turn, being in charge of my direction.

I feel for all of your struggles, sufferings and things you're all dealing with which make life miserable. And do hope that you're all finding some peace, love and joy throughout each day. And are able to be as happy, healthy and contented as can be.

It's day 21 of no alcohol and illegal drugs for me. And day 4 of no coffee. And all is going well. Life is life though it's full of problems! I won't deny that fact! For anybody! And, im still working on goals that have been lurking overhead and in the background for along time now. Tedious littlethings that will never quite be complete. But it keeps me occupied.

Will leave it at that for now.

Hope you all havea blessed day. Even those you choose to remain quiet.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

AdekSenior Contributor09 Oct 2017, 11:01 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Wow...
thats really inspiring @eudemonism🏆🏆
especially that coffee part. You are boosting with determination..and truly sounded a new person. Thanks for writing in today. Really appreciate you guys @Former-Member @Appleblossom @eudemonism @A2Z. I have been wondering of your ages recently. I remembered Apple is in late 50s. Am in late 40s. How about you eudemonism? To have insights and fighting spirits like that proves u a really mature person.

I texted a long reply last night Appleblossom ...but it too like @Former-Member 's.. went travelling into outer space when i posted it 🤒. Yesterday had been an unproductive day for me. Was supposed to attend 2 talks..morning and night..but i skipped both. Wanted to go swim downstairs..skipped that too. Was gloomy and lonesome whole day. Its part of this pmdd stuff when all hormones are in their downslide phase. I normally cry a lot around this time, lose interest in most of things and irritable too. The pain also tend to magnify when the body is at its weakest point of time.

Yes..missed my career days with students. I was an active and outgoing person..advisor of the school's cadette and prefect's board, also in the disciplinary board. That explains why i had been in so much training camps with them. Last week, the endocrinologist did suggested that i go back to work. Finding something to distract me especially when i am sad. Hmm..like u said its hard to compare and thinking of the swings of moods and pains am having..its really hard to take that into consideration. To have a fixed daily commitment is just like going backwards when i was purposedly given an early retirement to relieve me from it. Well...i just hope when i reach menopause phase..the hormonal fluctuations will rest a bit. How did it go for you btw?

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor11 Oct 2017, 8:55 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Yea, hello to all again! I like to think there is an answer for all of my woes and problems. But truth be known. There is probably not! The essence of my problems comes down to relationships. Nature of relationships. Quality of relationships. And the binding agent between relationships. And the cruel truth is! I just don't have that much to offer the people I'm in relationships with. Because of greed and selfishness and being self absorbed. And then the people i am turning too. Appear to be not that bothered with my wellbeing and welfare. So i suppose you could say. I've been influenced bye example and taught bye the people around me. Then there is the scenario where the tables have turned. And accepting that is just not in their job description and i think they don't like to loose the element of control over me.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

AdekSenior Contributor11 Oct 2017, 10:30 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

I believe..the art of relationship is a learned quality.. nurtured during our upbringing. I saw a documentary on tv ...a child who grew up in a broken family..and didn't get proper attention and tender loving care from her parents, ended up getting involved in unhealthy relationships, married a narcissist, being abused at home and at work, ended up being lonely till the end of her life. Then..her lifestory was reversed..starting with loving parents, healthy and cheerful siblings etc..having a good boyfriend who became his spouse..and the cycle repeats for her children and grandchildren.

So @eudemonism ..i believe.. accepting whats been written in our lifestory is fundamental in order for us to make peace with ourselves and our past and not feeling angry or sorry for what had happened cuz the livestory and the fate of our parents were written even before we were born..so did their parents'. Only when we have conquered that..we can find ways and means of understanding and improving our lives ahead and for the next generation.

I always believed.. everything happens for a reason..never futile. And there are always blessings in disguise in each. Its all up to us to seek and to ponder..what life has to offer... to mold ourselves into survivors.,😢💐💐💐🦄

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