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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

AdekSenior Contributor01 Oct 2017, 1:25 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Touch...N Go
Touch...N Go
Touch...N Go
Do not linger...

Thats how i do with people @eudemonism. Even with the closest of friends and family members... i meet them just once a month and never get too close with anybody. I feel...this has been my most reliable defense mechanism to armour myself from being discovered or critised or taken advantage of. Pretending i am okay is easier..than having to explain to everyone why i am not.🦄

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

AppleblossomSenior Contributor01 Oct 2017, 6:46 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

There is wisdom in doing one's own thing. @eudemonism Glad you are not too bad, considering ... Socialising has been torture for me too.

I did a bit of my thing today and my son came. We had a picnic and a lovely walk in a local gorge.

For a weird reason I have been caught out with the "open book" or "heart on my sleeve" style. I have been thinking I need to be more guarded, so I will remember that 'Touch and go' phrase. @Adek

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Oct 2017, 8:09 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Yea @Adek i like your "time to give, time to take, and me time " scenario. And there's another one. "Touch and go" im withouta doubt very needy and clingy when it comes to relationships. Also very defensive. Very easily upset. Expect a lot. And very easily unsettling bye relationship problems. Even if its just all in my mind.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Oct 2017, 8:14 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

And @Appleblossom i suffer from singleness. And have no dependants. And feel that all my relationships hang in the balance of too much or not enough. And can be easily jeopardized and can come under scrutiny at any time. Which is caused bye myself as a result of the other parties actions. So in a sense im always trying to make it work.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Oct 2017, 8:16 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Good morning @Former-Member thinking of you!

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Oct 2017, 8:19 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

A lot of what I write about comes from an internal mental prospective. And i can either let it get the better of me or write about how i defuse it and overcome it. Cause basically its all unproven and just mental stuff.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

AdekSenior Contributor02 Oct 2017, 10:25 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

I was in 2 marriages before @eudemonism. The first..i let myself being governed by my partner..till i lost my identity. Second was polygamous which i was being left on my own most of times i became almost independent. The emotional support i needed...i
gained it through CBT sessions with my therapist balanced with spiritual enrichment and practices learnt from the scholars i frequented...6 yrs now.

I believe..these 2 contradicting experiences with 2 different spouses was a blessing in disguise that led me into finding my true strength. To me now..every person are like trees in the forest...i see them while trailing past the woods...inhaling the oxygen they emit while trying to understand why each grows the way they are..either tall and strong, creepy, climbing etc..but i know they wont affect me...cuz am in my own journey..towards eternity.

May you find your truest inner strength and live a life full of wonders and discoveries..within and around you..

🌴🌲🌳🌱🌵🌿🍀🍂🍃🦄

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 Oct 2017, 9:55 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

I lived alone for a few years before I married and have been without a partner for 16 years. So I know what it is like to live a lot of the time with myself for company and it often becomes a lot of time in one's head.

@eudemonism This thread has been good in lots of ways. We come from different points of view but the interweaving is helpful ... I think?

There has been more company for me on this forum during the last 2 years than at any time in my life.

I hope @Former-Member is alright.

One marriage was enough for me. Not saying never, but in no rush.

@Adek That is a lovely way of putting it ... we are all on journeys to eternity.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember03 Oct 2017, 3:01 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism @Adek @Appleblossom

interesting that you have been talking about marriages.....relationships

we went to the city for our anniversary...did some lovely things....not having to rush....not having to think about long drive home....nice

yesterday we left motor inn and went straight home...we had planned to do more....I came down with the dreaded virus on the sunday night

have had to postpone heart echo sound due this thursday until next week....that is ok though..just frustrating

I think that you have been talking about trust....that is what I read between the lines...vulnerability

@eudemonism you talk openly about your feelings...experiences....this will help you

I am sorry but I have to get off the computer...really don't feel well....will catch up in a couple of days or when feeling a bit better..thank you all for thinking of me

take care my friends

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Oct 2017, 2:59 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Sorry about the virus @Former-Member but glad you got away for your annniversary.

Yes understanding trust, vulnerability and defenses seems key to good relationships.

@Adek If you do not mind I would not mind some links on the material you were talking about in self defence mechanisms.

@eudemonism Expressing the way we feel seems to be part of getting unstuck, then comes opening a space in our personal narrative to grow a better life. A better life based on your values. Maybe we are more like plants than first thought. Things seem to weave around.

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