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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

3494 replies

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor15 Nov 2018, 9:10 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Oh Idk about sad @Bunniekins may be serious. But not sad.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

MDTSenior Contributor15 Nov 2018, 9:55 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hey @eudemonism
I agree with all that the others have said.

I also think that in my own experience the best marker of progress is distinguishing the difference between the past and the present.

I was never a fan of who I was as a younger adult. Around the age of 17 and 18 I was very angsty and also just a mental health basket case. I found that the more I hated this however, the angrier I got. The more self hate I had for myself from the past led to resent. I started thinking that "if only" I had done certain things differently it would've been better now.
I started to think that had I worked harder I'm high school I could've gone to college in the US or here in Aus and not be a loser. I started having fantasies/selective memory about how things could be much better now. If only I had changed things then I'd be cooler, better looking, rich, getting laid all the time, better career prospects. It started in my second last year of uni. I started thinking these things. That life would be better had I given more effort.

The issue with such a view was that I neglected the undiagnosed mental health conditions. I also assumed too much of me with the benefit of hindsight. Two critical errors on my part.

My views on myself improve dramatically in the past year because I knew that the only way to improve was to take control of my own life in the best method possible.

I think I have done this and in doing so I have forgotten much of the resent I had from the past. There were multiple figures from my past that I trusted too much with things that don't need to be spoken about.

The best thing I did was get help for my MH. That is not a regret I have.

Though it meant dealing with things from the past. I have processed it and have come through that jungle.

Eude my man, it is not uncommon to hold resent. Indeed I believe it is just part of the human experience. We can move past these things and burdens.

Never doubt your worth my friend. You are a good man

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

AppleblossomSenior Contributor15 Nov 2018, 10:06 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Serious makes sense @eudemonism

I am glad you are not sad.

I have had to face a lot of bitterness and tragedy and see my part in it and yet see the big picture, which honestly puts right levels of responsibility to different persons. It gets very complicated when you do that. Have you ever proper therapy and mapped out all the challenges YOU and the people close to you faced. That is the kind of work that Counsellors and Psychologists should be doing. It is a long process to get to forgive and forget, with many stages and processes. Cant be done in the blink of an eye.

I am very cautious to push the ole "forgive and forget" on others, tho its great when it works. Its not just a mental or cognitive decision.I have found this thread very real and a good change from so many things going on in the world.

Take Care All

@Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @MDT and who ever is reading ...

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor16 Nov 2018, 7:07 am AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@MDT i suppose I'm just dealing with the ongoing barrage of resentments in my own way. Apart from that, I'm getting on with life as best i can.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor16 Nov 2018, 7:09 am AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Appleblossom what gets me, is that i appear to be the only one going through it. And that's probably because I'm alone most of the time.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor16 Nov 2018, 1:58 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@MDT & @Appleblossom this resentment stuff I've been going through-which is at the core of my symptoms and diagnosis. It comes and goes... i still get on with life as best i can... i talk about it-because it deteriorates every aspect of my mind and spirit & i would dearly love to deal with it, be done with it & move on for good... but the thing is-it always involves the actions of others-and i can't control or change them-even if 'They're in the wrong ' i just gotta wear it...

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor16 Nov 2018, 4:37 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Zoe7 how are things going on the work front?

@Bunniekins how are things going with pdoc, life and children?

@Shaz51 how is Mr Shaz and house cleaning?

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Zoe7Senior Contributor16 Nov 2018, 5:01 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Had my second half day today @eudemonism - the Maths session went ok but Science this afternoon wasn't as good - I am learning more about the kids though so that is helping. I am struggling quite a bit this afternoon as to whether I can do the job anymore but I also need to give myself a break as it is only the second time I have been back - time will tell I suppose...

How has your day been?

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor16 Nov 2018, 5:24 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Not to bad @Zoe7 I'm realising that trusting other people is very vein. So I've resorted to preyer and faith. It's the only way for MYSELF to have a half decent life. Otherwise i dare say I'll be full of resentment toward others... and going in completely the wrong direction/circles... which is what i don't want... of course i realise i need other people in my life; it's just GONNA have to be the right people from now on.
Yea i feel for your situation... I really don't know what to say...

How was your experience of school as a student?

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Zoe7Senior Contributor16 Nov 2018, 6:01 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

I threw myself into study and sport from a young age @eudemonism - I had some really good teachers (and some not so good ones lol) but on the whole they were good. I never wanted to be a teacher myself but after a trip overseas I decided that is the direction I wanted to take and enrolled in the course when I returned from travelling. I am glad I did - just feeling a little down and useless tonight - hope that will pass over the weekend.

I hear you on not having people in your life that you trust - similar for me too. Everytime I think there are those that I could develop trust in they seem to let me down so it is easier to not tell anyone anything or trust them to know anything. Life may suck that way but it is self-protection.

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