Coming to terms with reality

It would be great if the cane grows - I am still waiting for some of my seeds I planted to germinate - might need to plant some more and see what happens now there is more sun and daylight hours @eudemonism

Happy to listen if you need to vent @eudemonism

I know you are not alone in dealing with inadequate care @eudemonism The system is not a good one - for some it takes months for them to be able to see someone and then often fobbed off to someone else. Often the gp as the first port of call are ill-equipped to deal with the system as well and also many do not know how to deal with their patients - especially if it is dealing with complex issues. No matter how much governments say they are prioritising MH it does not equate to the services or providers that are actually out there. This is fundamentally where the whole system falls down in my view - not enough resources to provide for adequate care and then the costs involved often outweigh the care that can be provided.

I completely understand you feeling as you do - it is a very difficult position to be in - and made all the worse when myou believe not enough support is being given to you. This is often when we go down that road of hopelessness and believe no matter what we do it will never be enough or get the desired outcomes that we hope for.

I hear you Eude and am sitting here listening to how very hard this is for you.

I know you often feel like you do so much for others but don't seem to get any of that back in return - that is so very hard. I have felt like that in the past too but that meant for me cutting off nearly all interactions that weren't absolutely necessary. It was probably not the best way to deal with life but it worked for me. If I could have done things differently I don't think under the circumstances I would have - but that is something I will never know. I suppose what I am saying is that there are toxic relationships out there but what you need to do is weigh up what you also get out of them as well as what they take from you and find a balance if you can. Balance in everything in life is so important - and that is something I am very much still working on. It doesn't mean it is impossible - just hard to achieve when there are large obstacles in the way.

I so get that @eudemonism - no matter where you turn or who you turn to it ends in disappointment. There are some basic things we need in life and when some of them are missing it becomes so hard to keep going. I can hear that you are more than disgruntled with society through personal experience and the negative impact things have had on you - that is not a nice place to be Sometimes we are told that our expectations are too high but I believe that the basic premise of a good society is how well they look after those that cannot always look after themselves - and we fail dismally in that regard so often. We indeed live in a capitalist world where it seems the rich are getting richer and the poor are left to wonder why they cannot have just a small percentage of that pie. But in saying that it is often up to ourselves to help ourselves also - that is however made so much harder if the resources are not available to us.

Yea @Zoe7 it think those who are rich, well off or happy and healthy.. have trodden on lots of people to get there.. i mean winning feels great, but at what cost does it come? Society is all about striving to achieve something, for ones self, and the importance of others gets lost in the process. I think apart of my problem is that I resent how society works, but as i got told today 'it's all we've got to work with ' i start noticing it, in everyone and everything, no matter where i am, and it's always getting on my nerves. Even for myself, I've tried to be proactive and participate actively and positively in our society, but it hasn't worked that well. I think because I've realised I'm just getting screwed & turning around & doing it to the next person, not much of a life. Getting screwed, getting half the value of getting screwed, then getting screwed with the money you get, from getting screwed, -all so those who are system savvy can do well.

Negative exeriences in this world we live in certainly affect us adversely @eudemonism and sometimes it seems the more we try to do the harder life gets. This is not the case for everyone - and maybe we are just a little more sensitive to the negative aspects of society because of what we are dealing with. I find it very hard to deal with stories of people that are treated badly in any context - too much empathy can be detrimental to one's own MH - once again it is about trying to find that balance. One thing I have learnt from participating in the forum here is when I need to take a step back - that is for my own MH - sometimes I get so involved in what someone else is going through that it affects me in a very negative way - that does not mean that I no longer care or want to support that person but rather that to continue to do that I need to look after myself first. ...but it has taken me a long time and a lot of putting myself in diffivult positions to understand and act on that for my own good. I think you are in a simialr boat with a lot of your interactions IRL. It is so hard to find that balance and so hard to say no to people when they are also your source of support in a vsriety of ways.