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CROSS
56 replies
In response to: CROSS
Unknown userMember
Re: CROSS
I feel cross. I feel left out. I feel not wanted. I feel like the reject in high school. I finally started to feel safe on this page and asked some questions about my illness to be talked down to or if I didn't agree 100% or understood there answer I get no more replys. It's like basically at high school if you didn't take the drag of smoke you where not longer cool. I'm over it. I'm over people. You try and be nice to everyone and give them respect but then nothing in return.
In response to: CROSS
Unknown userMember
Re: CROSS
Hi @Former-Member sorry to read that you feel left out of the conversation. sometimes threads keep going at different paces and directions with no intention at hurting any one. depending on so many different reasons. It might help to make a new thread with a topic that brings up the things you want to discuss and maybe more people will relate because you do deserve to be heard,
Take care of you,
Take care of you,
In response to: Re: CROSS
Unknown userMember
Re: CROSS
hello @Former-Member
If you are referring to me leaving you out I am so very sorry
my head is all over the place most days that I come on here...so much stuff buzzing around
so I look at all of the posts where people have responded and sometimes just follow those
today I have upset a few people recently so thought well I will just go on back to "cross"
couldn't find it scrolling through sections...had to do a search
then I found your post
so I have managed to upset someone else
what a track record! do I get how to upset someone award of the month??
I am so fed up with myself that I don't even know what else to say to you
it seems as though there are some threads where people are very protected and others that go unnoticed
no different to the real world
I have never fitted in and dont actually want to...so I think I will just talk to myself over here
ps if you are feeling sensitive ...best to avoid as it appears that whatever or however I say something it will be the wrong thing
cross ....yes,....am a tad
In response to: Re: CROSS
Unknown userMember
Re: CROSS
Hi @Former-Member
I really really don't think you or anyone here was at fault. The conversation here simply kept going as conversations do, and there was never any intentions anywhere to leave anyone out.
I always find your posts so kind and thoughtful @Former-Member but the forums can be so hard to navigate at times because people post in vulnerable states or emotions, or because intentions in words don't come across as well in written form and we percieve things so differently to each other for so many different reasons (mh, culture, experiences etc).
I have been in similar situations on the forums and felt as though nothing i could do would make things ok nd felt so disheartened... but mostly I just trust that my intentions were from a good place, i reaffirm what I meant/ or try to explain what I intended... then i try to let it go or leave it. Hasn't always gone over ok.. but things have always moved on... as life does.
Sending hugs if you want them and hoping that you are ok!
I really really don't think you or anyone here was at fault. The conversation here simply kept going as conversations do, and there was never any intentions anywhere to leave anyone out.
I always find your posts so kind and thoughtful @Former-Member but the forums can be so hard to navigate at times because people post in vulnerable states or emotions, or because intentions in words don't come across as well in written form and we percieve things so differently to each other for so many different reasons (mh, culture, experiences etc).
I have been in similar situations on the forums and felt as though nothing i could do would make things ok nd felt so disheartened... but mostly I just trust that my intentions were from a good place, i reaffirm what I meant/ or try to explain what I intended... then i try to let it go or leave it. Hasn't always gone over ok.. but things have always moved on... as life does.
Sending hugs if you want them and hoping that you are ok!
In response to: Re: CROSS
Unknown userMember
Re: CROSS
thank you @Former-Member
I know everything that you said and on another day would not have reacted
just feeling so teary and down...
reading that was just the last straw....how could I possibly upset so many people???
this is such a huge issue for me....not explaining myself ...not being listened to....having to stand up for myself....I am so very different always have been
dont need sympathy or people to hold my hand
just fed up with it all
thank you for thinking of me and replying....not upset with you
just need to go now
In response to: CROSS
Unknown userMember
Re: CROSS
Last time I checked this thread was made to post when you where cross? Am I correct? That's all I'm doing is venting my cross feelings.
"wanted to start a thread where people could respond, open up about what they feel cross about."
That's all I was doing. Nothing against you @Former-Member. I actually like you and the way you think. Your not in the boxy
I just posted a new topic post with zero reply as it didn't state the normal I'm going to harm myself so no one read it and I'm not part of the sane cool club so they didnt reply.
But then again they live in there bubble world of safety and one don't like people posting in there topics conversations or two post on topics out side there four worlds. Very clicky.
And I'm probably sounding like a cow stating this but it's the truth. I thought this was a safe environment where there was no ego and unspoken rules but that's not true. It's hardcore judgmental but everyone is to scared to say that. Literally I've had conversations and if I don't agree with what they say they stop talking to me. I personally find that so childish.
I'm finding it the human world I'm not fitting in and I watch everyone treat each other like rubbish to get ahead and I'm over it and I come here to find connection and nope I feel like I'm in the human world.
"wanted to start a thread where people could respond, open up about what they feel cross about."
That's all I was doing. Nothing against you @Former-Member. I actually like you and the way you think. Your not in the boxy
I just posted a new topic post with zero reply as it didn't state the normal I'm going to harm myself so no one read it and I'm not part of the sane cool club so they didnt reply.
But then again they live in there bubble world of safety and one don't like people posting in there topics conversations or two post on topics out side there four worlds. Very clicky.
And I'm probably sounding like a cow stating this but it's the truth. I thought this was a safe environment where there was no ego and unspoken rules but that's not true. It's hardcore judgmental but everyone is to scared to say that. Literally I've had conversations and if I don't agree with what they say they stop talking to me. I personally find that so childish.
I'm finding it the human world I'm not fitting in and I watch everyone treat each other like rubbish to get ahead and I'm over it and I come here to find connection and nope I feel like I'm in the human world.
In response to: Re: CROSS
Unknown userMember
Re: CROSS
@Former-Member
Well this has been a learning curve for me today
I, who respond to others talking about underlying meanings of written language ....sensitivity...misinterpretations
what have I done...I have bounced around the forum upsetting others as I pass..
landing back here...distressing myself further..carrying on like a child having a tantrum
to return later to read that you posted here ...feeling cross. ...you thought it was safe here to do so...
miss clever pants Mohill interpreted another rebuff...
classic example of how things can spiral and get out of hand and innocent people left feeling hurt ...I automatically in my chaotic mind assumed you were one more person whom I had upset..
oddly I was thinking the same as you that this is becoming segregated... More like the corporate world...play by the rules...depending on which team you are on
so @Former-Member I am not ready to roll over yet
if you are still cross....I promise to not advise
hello @Owlunar @Teej I read your responses on the other thread...some very good points
we are all saying the same...we want to be able to write about our thoughts...feelings..support others who are happy to receive the support ..in doing so feel safe and not judged
isn't that what these forums are for?
In response to: CROSS
Unknown userMember
Re: CROSS
I'm not feeling as cross but more just alone. I don't even fit in with people with the same mental illness as me. Which makes me feel more like rubbish. I don't feel accepted. I just feel like a spectator on this forum and also in life.
In response to: Re: CROSS
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: CROSS
Hi @Former-Member
I hope it's ok to respond to this. I actually feel very nervous posting here. I can see that you're not feeling great at the moment and don't want to contribute to that, but I am feeling for you and didn't want to ignore that I can see things are hard for you at the moment either. I believe you have made some important points and I respect the effort you have taken to raise these when they may not seem to be heard all of the time.
I've read a few of the thoughts and observations you've had about being on the forum. I can understand how it might feel as if there are groups that are difficult to join in here and how that may feel as if the forum is segregated. I think it's pretty normal for a community or group of people as large as this, to form smaller groups within it. I actually think it would be unnatural (likely, impossible) for the community to function any other way.
In saying that, I can understand the difficulties and challenges this can present. Speaking from my own experience in being part of what I am aware others may see as a smaller group/s (of which there are many), I am mindful that it might be quite difficult or intimidating for others to jump in on what may appear as an ongoing conversation. I wouldn't expect anyone to want to or be able to catch up on or keep up with hundreds of pages of chatter, but I can imagine there may be people who would like to be part of it anyway. From my experience, attempting to enter other parts of the forum like this, has felt like being the new person at school. I genuinely think that for the most part, the majority of people here are aware of this, and from what I have seen they recognise, acknowledge and respond to the effort it takes someone to willingly put themselves out there to join along. I am sorry to hear that it doesn't seem to be the experience you have had.
When threads reach a large size I can see how it may leave people in a bit of a dilemma, as I think we all have a right to join in wherever we would like here, but equally we all have a right to share in a way that works for us for as long as we would like. It also seems like the balance between being inclusive, without overloading and overwhelming ourselves, could be hard to reach sometimes. Similarly, it appears many of us are attempting to find a balance between supporting others and receving support ourselves. I don't think "we" as a community always get it right (again, I think it would be impossible to), and I can see how things can appear unbalanced at times.
I myself, don't see any 'rules' aside from the community guidelines, which I believe are well considered and reasonable. I do see lots of different people joining together to give and recieve support in lots of different ways. I can imagine there are a great number of us who have had our fair share of issues with not fitting in throughout our lives, and I feel sad thinking that there are people who feel as if they don't fit in here. I feel it especially when I consider how diverse the community is. So many of us can also be very sensitive, and I think we as a collective are a vulnerable population. There is also definitely a degree of vulnerability that comes with posting here, both in seeking and providing support. I would imagine self-doubt is another pretty big issue for many of us, which could complicate things also. As @Former-Member and others have noted, all of this has the potential (especially given the lack of cues with online communication) for miscommunication, misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
I have read many of your resposes to others. I can see that you dedicate time, effort and consideration to supporting others, and appreciate and value the care, insight and experience you offer. I can see how it could be a big blow if the support you have offered, feels like it hasn't been well receieved, acknowledged or appreciated. With all of the above plus this, it is understandable that you are going through a tough time here at the moment.
I, along with many others, have heard you Mohill. I don't really have any suggestions, but I think you make some important points and I encourage you to keep raising them as you like, as well as sharing how some of these challenges can be worked through if you can, because I think the forum is an incredibly valuable resource and would like to see as many people as possible benefit from their time here (as I know so many others do too).
Please feel free to disregard any (or all) of this, and respond (or not) in whatever way you like.
I really do hope things feel better for you on the forum soon.
(With a bit of self-doubt, a touch of feeling vulnerable, lots of care, and quite a bit of hesitation, I will hit post now and hope that you receive this well, understanding you may not)
In response to: Re: CROSS
Unknown userMember
Re: CROSS
Hello @CheerBear
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I appreciate your effort and wish you well.
