Love and lust

@Ant7. My god. You have been put through an emotional wringer. I'm surprised you are still standing. Those are some very tough things to have to deal with. Both you and your wife.
Are you seeing a counselor / psychologist yourself? Is your wife? It's so important to have support during these extremely emotional times. And it sounds like you and your wife both need extra support at the moment.
I understand that financially things are very tight. But you can receive free medicare appointments with a psychologist. Your gp canset this up for you. I've used this medicare funded service before and it was a big help for me.
So maybe you and your wife can go and see your gp, together or separately, and let your gp know of all these major stressors you are under.
You both sound like you need extra support at this time. This Forum is a good place to offer that support. So is your gp.

@utopia thank you again for your kind words and advice. At the moment neither my wife or I are seeing anyone. Neither of us have ever seen a counsellor or psychologist except once just after our first child was still born. And that was just one session. I do find the forums helpful it is nice to just put my problems out there for me that helps you know. It is funny but the last 24 hours as hard as it has been we have been close and supporting each other. That probably sounds funny as we have always been close even when the intimacy isn't there so that's one really good thing I guess

@Ant7. I'm so glad you and your wife are supporting each other. It will help. And I agree, sometimes simply getting things off your chest, here on the forum, can be a big relief.
Keep using the forum.

Thanks @utopia some times it's good to just get it out there putting it down makes it real and when people care enough to respond and offer advice it makes you feel better