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Something’s not right

-Enigma-

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

The picture on the left hand side of the fabric is the design I will be stitching on the centre. The design is called "Tree of Hope" by Mirabilia designs. It's hard to see but it is made up of silks, beautiful beading and metallic threads. The colours will really pop 💞

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member I just wanted to drop by and say hello. I have been super busy. I have exciting news, I am at uni and enjoying it thus far. I hope all is well. How are you & hubby?

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

wow , @oceangirl my sister what are you studying at uni xx

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Helloooo @oceangirl ❤️ Wow, that's great news that you are studying at uni !!!!!! I know you have been wondering whether to do this for quite some time now as you were unsure how you would go - but you did it ! I am so happy for you my dear friend. Is that exercise physiology that you are studying. Indeed it will all work out well for you - I have no doubt. You deserve a good life, fulfilment and happiness.

I am a lot better now. Just came home from the shops and bumped into my daughter. She told me she is going away to the city to stay with a friend for a few days to unwind and relax. And to get away from that dangerous chap she was with. We had a good talk and I think it's finally sinking in that this guy will bring her down more and more and that she is better than that. I think she is making progress. So for now she is safe and looking after herself. I want nothing more than that and her happiness. She deserves it as she has been trying hard to better herself. Her low self esteem can hold her back and we are all trying to help her raise it.

My husband is still in pain but happy - he is incredibly strong. We have decided to put his neck operation off until after we move, as it was too hard to juggle. He is hoping he does not have to have it at all and is trying other things but I think at some stage he will have to. But we can live in hope.

My health has taken a dive and i being feeling weak but still keeping up with all I have to do. I am changing my sleeping habits, exercising more and dieting to see if that helps. Fingers crossed. Other than that I am feeling good today. So good to chat with you. Sending my love to both you and @Shaz51 ❤️💜❤️💜

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

sending you hugs for today @Former-Member

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Memberhow are you holding up?

@Former-Memberi know you get overwhelmed on to many threads atm, hope your going ok and D too

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @outlander - I managed to have a really good day thanks to my wonderful friends and husband. My daughter sent me a very loving text which also gave me a lift. She is quite messed up at the moment but I can't help her anymore than I can - just be there for her. When she suffers - I feel her pain.

But I am so grateful for the love I experienced today on my birthday. It was so needed after a tough week.

How are you going @outlander? You are such a wonderful caring person and a great support here. 💞

How are you this evening @Former-Member? Thinking of you hoping your not feeling too overwhelmed and relaxing with a cuppa ☕️. Beautiful people like you shouldn't be suffering so much. Here for you ❤️x

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Shaz51 - always love getting posts from you. You are such a special person and just want you to know how much we appreciate and care for you here. Hope your evening is a relaxing one ❤️

In response to: Re: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

im so glad you had a lovely day- was it your bday today? if it was happy birthday but i also know you want it kept quiet too i dont have any emojis on my comp which kinda sucks atm.

your a good mum too, it must be hard to see her suffer too but you are doing the best you can and she is also grown and has to make decisions herself

sending lots of hugs

im ok considering everything (family conflicts esp at a family bbq when my pop made out i was a bad carer and people kept calling me a 'thing' , physical pain with intermittent chest pain, and the loss of my great grandmother- pops struggling abit more than me so have had to increase my care for him too and monitor more and help out more too) but im ok i guess. @Former-Member

have you got a nice day planned for tomorrow too?

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

Nice to see a message from 2 lovely people @Former-Member and @outlander
💜🌷💜🌷💜🌷💜🌷💜🌷
So good you heard from your daughter Enigma.
What a relief.
And a very Happy Birthday to you. ☕️🍰🎂🍧
I’m glad you got to spend time with friends.

I’ve been all over the place emotionally today.
Have some decisions to make which I don’t want to. Plus other things going wrong today.
I did get out for a walk and Subway for dinner. Nice and easy.
Talk again soon.
Need to sleep.
Nighty night
You are both so kind and caring. 😘
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