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@Former-Member I'm hoping you are enjoying time with your best friend. I never did those fun things either, but my friend is right into make up and all the smellies, she brought the face masks, light material ones, they make you look really sick. We laughed at each other which was funny because the mask doesn't laugh, you need an imagination to get that, which you have. Try one with your friend one afternoon.

So you were a postulant, do they still call them that these days. What order, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I was constantly falling over the long black dresses, and very pleased when the hem lines were lifted. I also trained to be a missionary, but was not allowed overseas because of MI. A children's home in Thiland was the destination. That is my one deep regret, I would have loved the children.

I was put off drinking because of all that went on at home and thought I had done well. Unfortunately severe SH and anorexia are my downfalls. I have to be careful with both. I've been hospitalised with both. My social worker has helped so very much in these areas, someone who understands and cares, rare in profession these days,or in my experience anyway.

I have a deep concern for homeless people also. I've managed to buy a few of the tents they use and also struggle with wanting to bring them home. Yes safety is important, necessary.

There are two dogs with their snouts looking up at me on my knee. They demand my full attention pushing the iPad away, they do that with cross stitch also.

My social worker came this morningI she comes every Friday and spends a few hours with me, and phones during the week, my angel.

Im looking forward to the writing thread. It will be interesting to see what everyone comes up with.

Have you hear Shanina Noll sing the song, How could anyone. It's beautiful. Makes me cry everytime I listen.

I had better give these pups a bit of love. Take care my friend. Warm hug.

Hello again @Maggie

The time spent with my friend went well. She asked if I was alright now and I said I was better but am up and down. She said she was worried for me but she had been having her own struggles and difficulties at the same time worrying about her kidney cancer returning. I had no idea she felt that way and can now understand more why she was a bit distant from me for awhile. Communication is so important and I feel so much better for clearing the air. All is good there now and guess what - we are planning to see a movie together soon and have a bit of fun there and shopping. I took your advice 🙂

The order I was looking to join at the time was a bit dodgy I think. They were trying to create there own new order called "The Holy Family", which was sponsored by wealthy supporters and they were seeking approval from the church. The person that founded it was an Italian visionary whom I believed was genuine at the time but as time went on I started to question the order, as did some of the other lovely girls involved. We did not wear religious garments of tradition - just long black skirts and plain tops. I think they were classified a sect and only I could of become caught up with it in my search haha. I was genuine in this search but then somewhat naive.

My road to spirituality was a very interesting and sometimes amusing one. As I already posted I was atheist for years and in that time did become involved in pagan practices which I know is taboo in Christianity but I did not believe then. What lead me away from that was some not so good experiences and things I witnesssed and I eventually ran fast! Not long after that I watched some movies and read some literature on Jesus/commandments and had a flashbulb moment and liked what I saw and wanted to know more. So I went through all the different religions on my search for truth - from seven day Adventist, Buddhism, Anglican, Catholicism, evangelicalism, hinduism - you name it I tried it. My friend gets a giggle when I tell her about this part of my life - she's saids I am very unique and should write a book on it lol. I was like a run away chameleon adapting to my new circumstances of beliefs - picture this in succession and you may have a giggle. True story. I am a all or nothing person and wanted to find the perfect spiritual niche for me. If I discovered those who ruled these religious organisation were not genuine or did things that I thought were wrong - off I was to the next one.

I never did find that perfect religious organisation. But learned a lot along the way and took the good with me and the wisdom I gathered. And I am happy with where I am at spiritually now. I fit in real well where I volunteer as the organisers genuinely care about the disadvantaged, take no money for themselves and are genuine. I ca see God at work there and I have now found my niche.

I broke out in laughter at the vision of you and your friend with those laughless green masks on :nauseated_face: Hahahah. That did crack me up. I do like your sense of humour.

Anoxeria is no good my friend. I remember when I had my severe breakdown 5 years ago I could not eat at all. My anxiety and distress was off the scales - it was awful. I had to force feed myself. I haven't been like that since. Would you say high anxiety/distress the main trigger with your struggle with anoxeria? I know body image can also be a trigger but my short experience of it went much deeper than that. Be kind to yourself my friend.

Your social worker does sound like an angel!! Someone is definitely looking after you as this is truly rare. Where did you find her? I have t heard the Shannon Nola song - as soon as I finish this post I will google it and listen to it. Tomorrow I am off to have my cross stitch angel framed - can't wait to see her up on the wall. I think then we may be going out to dinner with some other friends, not entirely sure. These friends are facing a difficult time at the moment and I want to be there for them. All depends on how I sleep and if I am up to it. Will give it my best.

Do you have any plans for the weekend? I think I recall you saying you don't like them much so I hope you find a chance to have more fun with your friend to relax. Would love to see some pictures of those masked faces 😲😝lol. Talk soon my friend as it's always such a pleasure. Hugs xx

That's beautiful @Maggie 💕

Hello @Maggie Your social worker does sound like an angel, one that does house calls!

Dear @Former-Member I have just been reading your thread and catching up on how you and your daughter are.

I am sorry your girl is in such a fog, but despite it all you do keep going.

The way you express yourself helps me. I see a lot of myself in your posts, but I dont think I have allowed myself to find the kind of words you do. It helps soften me and stop me getting too brittle.

It is strange we can never reall know all the unintended consequences of our actions.

Your story about all your spiritual searching makes sense to me. I did much the same.

This is an Easter Panel by indigenous First Peoples.

So good to hear from you @Appleblossom - it has been awhile. How have you been? I love the Aboriginal Easter Panel. I love Aborginal art generally and have a few such artworks hanging on my wall.

I am glad what I say helps you at times. We both are quite similar in a lot of ways. I have missed seeing you on here and have been thinking of you. How is your son now? Is he still living away from home? Are you still singing in the choir?

Yes, I did a lot of soul searching and it was an enriching time even though it wasn't always quite what I expected - I did gain much from it and it made life interesting.

Thank you for the kind words re my daughter. It is an ongoing saga but I do keep going none the less. I still find those good meaningful moments and stay hopeful. But at times it can really wear me down and I become weary. Nothing like a good night's sleep then to wake up to a new day to face new challenges with gusto. And I have plenty of them haha. Sending a warm hug 🤗 xx

My son only stayed at his father's for a few weeks. Yesterday we picked up his things and he has settled back here. I have tried to use the change to make a few conditions on him. I am making many more demands and less apologetic about what I have. CHallenging him. I think I am going to read more Carl Rogers.

I also grieve for my daughters, but they are living their lives according to their valuesand I always wanted that for them, so am finally getting over that I am not part of it.

Listening to Jordan B Peters a psychologist from Canada.

I am glad you are setting some boundaries and conditions on your son's return. As you have your own well being to consider too. Who is Carl Rogers? I noticed when your son was home last you had some enjoyable times with him also. It would be nice if you both could enjoy many more of those good times.

I sincerely feel for your grief - it can be so hard. I grieve for my daughter's too - one of whom I am estranged from. I hope one day you will reconcile with them but if not you have the peace that they are living by their values which you played a role in and can feel very proud of that. And you also have your own life adventures in front of you to explore, trying different things, grabbing the opportunities when they present themselves - it will be a exciting new turn of events in your life towards further self discovery and personal growth which can be very rewarding. I believe the best years of your life lye before you. I feel the same about my future. We both have much to offer and will go out there making the most of our lives which will make a difference to others.

Are you listening to Jordan B Peters on the radio or TV? What does his talks centre around? Must go now and hit the hay. Sweet dreams my friend, remember I am here to talk with any time. 😊🌹

Good morning @Former-Member I tried responding last night but my headache was turning into a migraine so had to lie down. This morning it's just in the background and my little doggy friend is about to land on my doorstep. Her mum is off for some facial treatment today.

I loved reading of your search for spirituality, so interesting and rewarding. I find man made stuff with imposing rules and unrealistic demands unacceptable now. I just want to walk a simple walk with a friendly accepting God and do some good when it's before me.

I'll talk later, have to get ready. Have a good day.

@Appleblossom My social worker also does mobile parties for Christmas and birthdays. A one off I think. Hope you are doing ok