-Enigma-

That's hard re your daughter @Former-Member

Sorry to hear.

Yes, it will be lovely when you are in your new home.

I'll have to come back later to see the photos.

Time to cook dinner.

ohhhh hello @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @oceangirl, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom

Oh dear. Yes you deserve peace. @Former-Member Cant see your photos yet.

Yes give her space, but eventually I think you can expect fiscal and other responsibility, maybe not right now. I use the arguments of "pulling one's weight" and "self respect" with my son but different kids pull through differently.

I was pretty unthinking in my silly post earlier. Did not mean to confuse things but thats what quick identifications do. I guess. There are many ways I am not at all like your daughter. I always have uncombed hair! I ruffle it. Its curly like a terrier!

Thinking of you. I hope it is a sign she has seen through him and can work a bit on herself.

So good to hear from you @Appleblossom - I need a friend right now to be honest. My daughter had been away for awhile and has come home in a violatile mood. She has become very unstable again - she was okay before she went. Perhaps it him - I can only hope she will see through him. But this could be signs of drug use again and I just can't take this anymore. I have gone from relaxed and happy to crying and fed up. I liked my peace. It's not fair.

Sorry, you all have enough on your plate. This just hit me out of the blue - I did not expect her decline and she has been better for so long. I suppose I have to readjust. Thanks for being there @Appleblossom and @Former-Member. It does help to talk about it.

P.S @Appleblossom - I have very curly hair to and ruffle it too lol.

@Former-Member

Would she relate to appoaches like Teal Swan's Completion Process?

I think it is times like these I try and fortify my Interior Castle. Maybe the home walls are breached til she can find her peace. We can lead the horse to water ... but ...

Dont agree to things you do not like or believe in.. even if she becomes demanding. Wait til things settle a bit.

Self Care for you and hub.

I think I have read the interior castle many years ago - was that by Teresa Avilia? I haven't heard of the Teal Swans Completion Process - I will try and google it.

The things she is saying isnt making much much sense and she has hostility in her eyes. I have not seen her like this for years. That is probably why I am distressed - I thought that part was over. Her mind seems to have tipped over again....

I will wait to things settle....she can't expect a free ride off us all her life while she lives like she does. I am now thinking of reselling the new place and buying her a unit somewhere and moving somewhere else. I can't do this anymore @Appleblossom

@Former-Member@Former-Member also with your pictures. If you can edit them it usually helps even just taking off the margins maybe thatll help- often works for me

Hello @Appleblossom@Shaz51@oceangirl@Former-Member@Former-Member your also in my thoughts ❤

Yes it was. Teresa Avila's language was very outdated, but I still find the central concept valid and useful when things are turbulent.

I suggested the same thing for my son, but I think he knew he needed my help. so asked me to stop mentioning it. He wants to live together for at least 2 years. He has just turned my pantry upside down and is going ketogenic. :Went shopping for bacon and eggs ... sigh ... but at least he is researching making health decisions and funding it a bit himself ...I can cope with and respect that ... we will see ... long term ....

How has she responded to the idea of you buying a place before?

I would hold off selling for a while cos of all the work of moving and the loss. You have just got there and she probably is curious about living there with you.

Boundaries about how she can live and what she can do. Expect adult contributions in a range of life areas. There may be difficult times, but remove all support for "using" type behaviours.

It is so hard.

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