-Enigma-

Yes @outlander - my volunteer work has really become very important to me. I found my purpose and where I belong.

Sorry to read that you are still in a dark place - maybe watching Shelton will help distract for a bit. Those thoughts aren't pleasant - when they hit me I try and take my attention off them or talk to someone about it, but the latter is not likely to happen for me. My husband does not understand those things so I usually deal with it myself and push forward. Staying at home makes me worse when I am like that. My volunteer work helps - that is another reason I like it so much.

Glad to read that you are safe and hope this pain will pass for you soon. Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning 😊

I am off to the doctors tomorrow as he rang this morning wanting to talk about my blood test results. So I am fretting about that at the moment looking for distraction, distraction, distraction.......

No @Appleblossom - I had no idea what you and your son went through the last 8 months and that he was in jail for 4 months - how traumatising for you both 😓. Do you have an idea what triggered his episode? Feel for you so much @Appleblossom and words fail me. I know that you can't go into the details here but am here if you ever want to talk. My daughter came very close to going to jail at one stage...I understand what you mean about walking on eggshells. It's moment to moment then - and savouring those good ones when they present themselves, the ones you are sharing with your son now whilst he is trying to do the right thing by himself and you - that's a real positive and will keep you strong.

How has the experience of jail effected your son? Do you think it made him more determined to avoid a relapse? Am always here for you. The loving bond you both share will see you through this.

Do you have support there for you @Appleblossom it ever feels it's getting a bit much? Does your son have mental health advocates etc to help him in any court proceedings?

Thanks @outlander - I really appreciate you being there for me and I do enjoy our chats. I will be okay - I can be a big sook sometimes. Just that I hadn't felt well and thought something may be wrong, but more than likely won't be serious as the last few days I had picked up in energy. I have been sleeping better and that has made a difference.

I know I have to stop worrying about the situation with my daughter, I feel that intuitively- otherwise I will become very sick. Worry takes its toll over time on the body and mind. I know that intellectually, now I have to learn to let go emotionally and accept the situation. It is what it is and I need to adjust. I do believe there will be a better outcome for all of us in the long run (just wish it would hurry up - patience is not a virtue I possess lol). Just have to keep on being positive and go with the flow.

I am a lot stronger and calmer than I was which is a good thing.

Ongoing chronic pain is difficult - I hope your can take something occasionally or find a way to relieve it at times. My husband finds the tens machine helps and some strengthening exercises. It isn't easy at all and I do hope your healing will be faster than you think ❤️

My new cross stitch I am working on is Art Deco - called "Tree of Hope". It's very colourful and pretty - a bit different from what I have done in the past. I am really enjoying it. Even though only half done, I will see if I can get a good photo and post on here soon. It won't look as good as the end result though but will give you an idea. It's been fun working on it so far 😊❤️

I love the idea of your cross stitich too. @Former-Member

I am getting support now. More in the last 2 years than ever before, but its a bit like shutting the fence after the horse has bolted.

Tying up all the threads about why it happened will be a long and ongoing path. It happened in the same week that I went to the Royal Commission but my son says it is not related. Not at the stage where it is right to delve. Most important thing has been getting him to link in with appropriate support, not just lowest level court mandated treatment. Still a ways to go, but taking him to see a good counsellor with a low med/ strong psychotherapy thrust is starting to show him the range of stryles and levels of help available.. his eyes are opening and he is less resistant and tarring all therapists with same brush.

SOme of the effect has been PTSD but yes there is a deterrent element, but he did not really do anything wrong. It was a testing authority which was met with an overreaction due to public hysteria. We might be able to get it taken off his record, but it heightens my awareness of so many with BiPolar ending up in jail not hospital and the problems of trigger happy cops. I do not feel safer with so many guns on the streets shooting people in the middle of an episode.

Hi @Appleblossom and @outlander - I was about to reply to your posts when my daughter walked through the door - she needed to talk to me so I had to go offline for awhile.

@Appleblossom - I am so grateful your son came to no harm. Police aren't adequately trained to deal with someone who is having a mental health epidsode and they can panic which is never good when behind a trigger - overreactions do happen both there and with the public and the consequences can be tragic. I share your concerns. I have been in that situation myself when someone comes into our centre when having a psychotic episode - every staff member flees and leaves me on my own to deal with it. They are terrified and can overreact - yes. I think special teams that are trained and know how to handle such situations should be on immediate stand by to be called in when police confront these incidences. It's happening too much. It really is a big problem. But it comes down to lack of funding as usual and the closing down of psychiatric hospitals and inadequate mental health resources compounds the problem.

I am pleased your son is in good hands medically and getting the counselling he needs with less resistance. This should see him make progress. It's very hopeful. Maybe some good can come from this. I do hope the charges are dropped though, keep pushing for it...please let me know when you can how he gets on and how you are doing as I will be thinking of you both. You really deserve a break - I think you are remarkable with how you are handling everything. We have a bit of a road ahead, but it will get better for the both of us, as we apply that balance of self nurturing that we need to remain strong. Am always here for you x

I hope you can get some sweet slumber tonight @outlander and the pain does not keep you awake too long. Unfortunately I am wide awake at midnight - will try and read as that usually helps tire me. I think you would really enjoy "The Woman In The Window" if you can get your hands on it. I think that would be your cup of tea also @Appleblossom - it got great reviews. Sweet dreams my friends ❤️

I recommend reading Dune by Frank Herbert it is a brilliant sci-fi novel. IT is so engaging and so completely interesting that it will distract you from even the most painful situation your experiencing. It helps me when things get down. As does Arthur C. Clarks 2001, 2010, 2061, and 3000 series.