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Hey Life - give me a break.

Hey Life - give me a break.

@PeppiPatty - regarding my story - it probably warrants a thread of its own. Really needing my friends@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Determined@Former-Member@Former-Member@Anony18@outlander@Former-Member @PhoenixRising @Former-Member

Sexually assaulted at age 13. Have never told my family.

Went to uni and moved away afterwards for work so fully independent then.

Came back to my home town after a couple of years.

Had a couple of serious relationships and ended up marrying a narcissist used car dealer (say no more) Basically raised my kids by myself. At 40, he had a fling with a married 19year old who already had a two year old child. He fathered a child with her and I found out some time later when I discovered he was paying child support payments. Stayed in this loveless marriage until the kids had finished school, then divorced which was nasty and I suffered financially big time. Had loaned his business money but didn't have anything legal drawn up. He also moved a lot of money around and had an overdraft on our home.

Got into a relationship with someone who was actually interested in me and shared common interests. It was the best and worst time of my life. He fits all the criteria of BPD. Moved interstate to be with him. The relationship became volatile and he physically assaulted me. This is when I became involved with this Forum. On one occasion, a neighbour called the police and he was arrested. They saw my injuries, he admitted guilt and he was imprisoned. I stood by him all during his incarceration, funding an appeal and he was released after eight months only to be deported as he wasn't an Australian citizen. I joined up with him overseas but the assaults continued. He got sporadic help for his MI but wasn't committed to getting better.

Eventually after yet another particularly bad assault and having the police involved, I returned to Australia and that was four and a half months ago. He appears to be serious about managing his condition now, taking medication, going to support and counselling sessions and hopes that I will return. However, all trust has been obliterated. We still have contact and that can get traumatic at times.

I started off on the Carers' side but find myself on the Lived Experience team as well. I have been having sessions with a psychologist.

Thrown into the mix is my own family. They don't know what I have been through. I used to care for my father and mother, used all my holiday and long service leave, taking time off work and eventually quitting so I could be there for them. Two of my siblings also live nearby but they were more concerned about building wealth than our parents' wellbeing so it was left to me. My father passed away and when I left to be with my partner, my mother's care was transferred to them. I feel they resented my decision but for the first time in my life I felt I was entitled to pursue happiness (not that it turned out that way) The sibs shut me out and when Mum passed away recently things went from bad to worse and as Executors of her will they scattered her ashes when and where they wanted without telling me and are responsible for distributing her estate however they see fit. There was no funeral or memorial service.

I live with my daughter and my son lives with his father. I love my kids with all my heart and live for them. I have a dog (actually my daughter's) who is my constant companion. I do a lot of walking and listening to music to escape the depressing thoughts I feel. I have no idea what to do with my life now and think it's all a cruel joke.

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In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hi @frog - this is my story. I feel that we have some things in common. Hopefully not the extreme stuff you'll read in here. Sorry if it is too confronting for you to handle with your own issues that you are trying to deal with at the moment.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hi @soul

Hows thing going for you at the moment? Have been thinking of you even though I have not been around much

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hey @soul thanks for sharing your story. We do have some things in common, though your life seems a lot more complicated than mine. I don't know how I'd deal with everything you do. I had some crappy family of origin stuff happen and first major depressive episode at 15. Only had one relationship to speak of. Narcissistic bully in the end and left me for someone else after 20 years together. Eventually, after 30 years, got diagnosed with Bipolar 1, which is basically a good thing. Things make so much more sense. Hang in there, you're a survivor.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hey @Determined - thanks for dropping in. @frog - I just had to come to the realisation that some things were beyond my control and I had to let them go. Family was so important to me but mine is pretty much shattered and is beyond repair. I have to accept that.

I so much regret that my kids didn't have a decent father. I hope that it won't tarnish their relationships down the track. My son's football coaches and teachers mentored him more than his own father ever did. Having finished uni last year, his work colleagues are fulfilling that role. I'm grateful that he has some nice friends.

My daughter is a bit more complicated and suffers from depression at times. Was once on meds but manages it okay now. She takes her frustrations out on me but I just let them flow over me as much as I can.

I am beginning to like my own company again but do feel alone. Feeling that it would be nice to one day be able to share my life with someone again. Have someone that cares and is interested in me. That asks me about my day. Someone to travel with and experience new things. Maybe someone to grow old with.

Trust will be a big issue. I don't even know how to begin.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Is this you @Soul ? lol 😱 Chin up sister 💜💜💜🌷🌿👍

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Ha ha @Former-Member - I can only hope.

In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

I'm so sorry that you've been through all this trauma. The walks sound lovely and you sound lovely too.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Thanks @frazzled. I do enjoy my walks but sometimes would like a walking partner. Have a good day.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

I was struggling a lot yesterday. I had worked up the courage to start yoga classes then the studio I went to had closed for renovations. It left a gap in my day - was something I had really looked forward to and I felt as if I was really reaping the benefits.

Then so many of my Forum Friends seemed to be having a difficult time and I was feeling hopeless in helping them. @Former-Member @Determined@Phoenix_Rising@outlander @MDT @utopia @Faith-and-Hope and so many others. We all appeared to be drowning and I was looking for the life rings and couldn't find them.

It made me think of the relationships that I had put my all into but had failed. The babies that I couldn't keep in my womb. The family that is broken beyond repair. The things I had wished I had told my father and my mother but will never be able to now that they have gone. How I have lost contact with all but one of my real life friends. My ex BPD partner who is incommunicado again and I wonder if it's by choice or has something happened? Being a shadow of my former self.

So now it's the last day of winter and it's time to time to shrug off what is dark and cold and try to embrace spring. Hoping for better times because without hope, there is nothing.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Here comes the sun .... ❤️💐💕 .... @soul .....

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