What does "triggering others" mean?

Yes it is the mammoth in many rooms.

If we are all grown ups we should be allowed to have grown up conversations about real life issues.

During 2 horror years of my life

My sister died in January, then the father of my old boyfriend was involved in a murder-suicide in April, my husbands mother died in July, an uncle died in November, and the next year 2 friend/acquainances also died.

I am being discrete. I am not describing any of the details of how, just mentioning their relationship to me. Only my mother in law was not a suicide. Only my sister was a blood relation. So I no longer take it personally. The first time I heard the word was being asked to visit a girlfriend from school who had had an attempt. Its out there in a big way. Pretending the hairy mammoth is not in the room is not making it go away.

I recently sat in the train and a young woman went ape when she got news over her phone that a friend had just suicided. I could only hold her in my heart as she was too distreesed to relate to a stranger even kindly.

I have researched and researched trying to understand.

I firmly believe my brother might have survived had we been able to DISCUSS it. He went on in tormented state for 9 years til he finally passed.

Hi @Appleblossom , @hiddenite, @Crazy_Bug_Lady

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts about this. Always open to having these discussions.

I just want to flag, the last thing we want to do is sweep topics like suicide and self harm under the rug and pretend it doesn't happen or exist. That's not our intent.

Typically, what we ask members to remove is graphic detail of specific methods of harm, or the specific details of physical or sexual abuse.

In the development phase of these Forums, we consulted various groups on a whole lot of different matters - ranging from layout of the Forums, through to Community Guidelines and moderation.

The groups consulted included people with lived experience, people who identified themselves as carers and practitioners - we also incorporated academic research. We found in all the groups we consulted, the content they were most concerned about and felt was triggering, was the graphic or specific detail of harm.

So while we ask people so take out these specific details, we often want to ensure the context and meaning behind the post isn't affected.

In terms of people expressing current thoughts of suicide, as @Crazy_Bug_Lady has mentioned, if there's no detail in there, we tend to leave it up. However, we do follow up with members to stress that the Forums is not a crisis support service and encourage people to contact a crisis service. The Forums are not a helpful place to be if you are at immediate risk.

Here are the full Community Guidelines if you're interested to find out about other ways we try to keep the Forums safe and productive.

On your other point @Appleblossom, can you tell me a bit about what happened when you typed 'hohum' - was it an automated message that popped up or a moderator contacted you personally? I'm very confused as to how that happened!

Finally, I'm so sorry that one of the mods pulled you into a discussion that triggered you. As mentioned, everyone is triggered by different things. This is something the moderators have to think about a lot too. As part of our roles, we identify things that, as individuals, trigger us. Everyone's is different. We have had to work on self care and things we can do for ourselves when we are triggered.

I always flag with members that it's important that they do this too - and take time out from the Forums every now & then. We have to all be aware of 'compassion fatigue' and I often think that members need to be aware of this too.

My thoughts exactly. I feel that if we are allowed to be more open about mental illness (and symptoms such as suicide and SH) it'll reduce the stigma, and as a result make people more likely to seek help, and talk to others, creating a ripple effect. Also, it'd reduce suicide and SH, as people would be encouraged and less "ashamed" to seek help.

When I first started thinking of suicide, I was terrified. I have enough trouble talking to people (came from a family where you don't talk about feelings/emotions for fear of it being used against you) I didn't want to get "locked away". What was wrong with me?

Looking back, if it was a less taboo topic, I would have spoken to someone sooner. I may have sought help sooner. I wouldn't have made such plans for my suicide, which are now always in the back of my mind, as a depressing backup plan to life. 😛

BTW, I'm safe atm, just feeling morbid. And sorry, as a result I'm gonna leave of this topic for the night.

Sorry...

@NikNikMaybe it was just computer generated. I am pretty politically correct, but sometimes our society goes overboard. It made me laugh as I thought we would not be able to post Father Christmas saying hohoho.

There you go it did it again so i will take out all the spaces to post it.

Hold up... why could I type ho?

*runs off to investigate*

Dont know maybe some bug in my computer or in the different interfaces

@NikNik your moderator priveleges may have allowed it 🙂