I will...

Knowing you are still around means a lot for me. Bella lj

I havent read all this thread yet, just wanted to say hi.

Most days that is all we can do @Former-Member

I can imagine with work, the kids and 'everything' else - as well as being winter - that you have sooo much on your plate! I know you can't talk about much of it but I'm here to listen with what you can share if it would help. I know sometimes nothing makes a difference though - talking, not talking, thinking, not thinking, even just trying to walk - it all gets too much sometimes and it sucks!!!!!

Life just isn't fair sometimes - but it is what it is hey!

Just as it is to see you around @Appleblossom

Ditto Bella Butterfly

This is a forum of beautiful people.

Oh yes I know how much needs to be done 'out of hours' @Former-Member

The whole system is now designed to 'burn' teachers out - and that doesn't even take into account our 'personal' lives (or not-lives)! I actually do not know anymore if I will ever go back. I know it isn't even on the radar atm because of how unwell I still am but it is also really sad because I don't know if I will ever be able to deal with everything that goes with the job - and not just the admin stuff but dealing with the kids and all the potential triggering situations that I used to be able to deal with objectively.

I am very glad that you posted tonight. You don't have to post all the time for us to know you are around. That like every now and then that comes from you ALWAYS makes me smile - because I know you are still around - and just like @Appleblossom that means a great deal to me.

I have actually been fighting exactly the same thing as you - wanting/needing/thinking about withdrawing from everything. I haven't looked at fb for weeks - don't intend to either. I have been on and off here - mostly off and very tentaive when on here - don't/can't ask for support - especially when there are others seeking the same - don't want to 'get in the way' sort of thing!

What training/study are you doing? If you can say!

@Appleblossom

Try not to think about it as 'your fault' @Former-Member - you have been through a huge amount and there was no way you could have done the training/study when you were so unwell. Also remember that you are working full-time and that is certainly NOT what was planned. It is a hard enough job as it is without having to return to work after a year away and have to go straight back to full-time work - and look how far the year has come and you with it lj - you are getting there even if it doesn't feel like it.

I wish I could do more to help you - maybe I could sneakily do the training/study for you lol

There is a 2 day course coming up next month that I would really like to do but I know I wouldn't make it past the first hour of each day (plus I don't have the money either).

One foot in front of the other when we can hey - and sit and try not to worry when we can no longer walk - easier said than done but I can hope for that - for both of us

I have to hand it to both you ladies. @Former-Member@Zoe7

I have never worked fulltime as a school teacher.

The women around me who seemed to manage were part-timeers and so I adjusted my expectation from fulltime public servant to part-time piano teacher. I had a good situation where I had a higher hourly rate no travel and very little prep work. From 30s on I was far too disabled with neck to cope with a school setting.

I believe the fulltime teaching model developed for professionals who had stay at home wife and mothers caring for their children or devoted single women.

Some women seem to be able to have it all but there are usually have social resources and many hidden compromises.

@Former-Member It has been 2 years now and you have come through huge things managing the separation, court cases and children. Exhaustion is natural with the level of work and the constancy of motherhood.

I am blabbing on trying to put your situation in perspective. Not that you dont already know.

Some teachers find a range of alternatives tutoring ...... even at the zoo there is a growing LE Learning Experieces team and they hire a lot of CRTs.... @Zoe7 probably knows other opportunities.

Dont collapse into all or nothing thinking ... @Former-Member You have taken on a massive task and all kudos to you for your successes.

You dont have to do it all ... all the time .. maybe chunk and trim a bit ... rather than silly stuff .. like you dont matter ... because whether you can take it in or not .. you do matter

When I left and I realised I had nobody to rely on for anything, I tried not to overstretch myself so that I could keep up with the unexpected things that always pop up when human beings are involved.

Long term planning ... big picture steady ... objective clear ... now I am quoting from our cantata ...

music to keep our spirits up.

I need to go to bed, but love you girls. NIght.

Apple