Struggling to Survive

Thanks @CheerBear - you know - I was always a cat person - never ever thought I'd have a dog. We have had family dogs over the years - but I have never had one myself until Toby. I do love all animals but little Toblerone, Tobes, Toby (whatever day it is and I feel like calling him lol) is a pretty special little buddy. It seems even non-animal loving people and even 'cat people' fall in love with him pretty quickly. He is a very well behaved little puppy.

"Toblerone" ☺ Love it Zoe7 💞. You hang in there tonight.

Must be cold were you are, down south - stay warmm.

I'm struggling tonight too, but just took something to knock myself out hoping tomorrow is a better day.

Gotta open up at work in the morning, yikes!

Holding you in the light my friend (the spirit never sleeps) 🌷🌿

Get some sleep, rest your mind 💜💕

Oh @Former-Member sleep is where it gets the hardest - long story - told it several times before - not sure I can tell it again tonigh

I am sorry you are struggling too I hope you can get some sleep and stay warm. It is presently about 2 degrees here - even the heater is having trouble staying warm lol

I will get through - it is just really tough tonight - and the toughest thing is I can't talk about what has happened and why it is so tough.

Will be thinking of you in the morning opening up

Hugs

Why does 'everything' need to be so hard? Why am I in constant pain, constant fear and always 'thinking'. I am so over it all! I don't have the energy to keep fighting this - I don't have the energy to move forward. I am 'just getting through' each day and most days I do not even know what day it is! I am so tired, feel so sick and completely useless. I know this is just another day - like all those others - that I am feeling like there is no point but with time it should ease a little. I just don't feel that at the moment. I don't even have the energy to cry. I feel again that I just want to go to sleep and not wake up! There is not much left in me to keep going like this - it is too hard!

I totally hear you @Zoe7. I am eternally grateful for the wonderful people at SANE like Rockpool and Lunar who are able to help me keep on keeping on. I don't know the answer. I don't know why it is so hard. I don't know why things are as they are. But I do know that things shift and change - sometimes for the better and sometimes painfully for the worse. This time last week I was so very happy with my wonderful party that YOU made happen...and this time this week my world has fallen apart because of my less-than-competent psychologist. What will my world look like a week from now? I have no idea...but I do know that I need to be alive in order to find out.

I agree that it is so so so SO hard, @Zoe7. But we both thus far have a 100% success rate of surviving each day, so I reckon we can both manage this one too.

@Phoenix_Rising @utopia I know today is 'just one of those days' but I am really struggling through this one. I have spent most of the day trying to sleep - with no luck. Too much sh*t in my head and as soon as I close my eyes - let's not go there!

I am too tired and sick to deal with this today. The medication seems to be helping a little with my breathing but I can't physically do anything. It is an effort to walk from one room to the other. I couldn't even hold Toby for long as my arms just 'gave in'. It has taken me nearly 10 minutes just to type this little bit.

I could quite easily break our 100% record at the moment @Phoenix_Rising - but I don't think I even have the energy to do that. I really want this to stop.