Struggling to Survive

Yes it does make sense @Maggie

Thankyou @Maggie and @Former-Member I know you both 'get it'. I'm really struggling today. Made it to my ultrasound but needed to come straight home afterwards. Too anxious and shakey. Minute by minute atm!

Just look after yourself @Zoe7,you must be cold,it's a very cold day in NSW,I know very well the chaos that goes on in my head especially when you are at that highest level.Hope your ultrasound went ok.Try and remember to breathe and focus on Toby to divert the mind.💌

It is freezing again today - and windy @Former-Member

I had to wait nearly 45 minutes for the ultrasound and was very anxious. Luckily it was a female so that relieved the anxiety a little. Couldn't breathe properly as my nose is blocked again and the lights were very bright - so I found it really uncomfortable. I just wanted to be home - and as cold as it is at home I feel alot safer being here - well as safe as I can atm anyway.

I hope you are doing ok today - I know that is probably not the case but I can hope that for you

You don't need any justification for you 'problems' @Former-Member - yours are no more or no less as important or valid as mine. I know you feel like you have 'wasted' 5 years and that you feel hopeless but everything that I 'see', read and know of you tells me the opposite - you are brave, you are compassionate and you are here! ...and I personally am grateful for all of that and your continued support of me - that is not the actions of someone who is hopeless - that is the action of someone who cares - and the sentiment is reciprocated Li1

I got distressed when I read your post @Zoe7,it's hard sometimes to be on here to tell someone they will be OK when I'm not,to encourage therapy when I know for me it was violating and humiliating,and total waste of time.You do have those moments when you wonder what you are trying to save your life for.I am hopeless @Zoe7,I know that from my failures,in every aspect of life.The only good thing is a few more days without my mother,which I'm not as stressed putting up with her and takes the pressure of.Her irrational thoughts I can't take on top of mine at times.Thanks for support and for being there.

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I am sorry you got distressed when you read my post @Former-Member Sometimes I don't know what else to do but to write - and I don't think clearly enough in those moments as to how it will affect others. I am really sorry for that

I completely understand trying to tell someone it will be ok when you are feeling like it won't - I have those feelings alot too - but I try not to sugar-coat the reality of our 'situations' - we feel what we feel and think what we think - the only ones that can truly change that is ourselves and that seems impossible most of the time.

What do we do then? We stick together, continue to share, continue to talk and continue to support each other DESPITE how hopeless we may feel.

'The journey of a thousand miles does not begin with one step - it begins with those that we choose to share the journey with".

Wasn't you @Zoe7,you know when we are like this,it can come from nowhere,or you know its there bubbling under the surface.Shit way to be.Thanks @Zoe7

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I know exactly what you mean @Former-Member and it is a horrible way to be

@Zoe7@Former-Member Just read your recent posts. No words sorry, what is there to say. If I say anything to trigger you please let me know and I'll remove it. Glad the ultrasound is done @Zoe7. Sticking together.