Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

DeterminedSenior Contributor15 June 2017, 5:56 pm AEST

Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

This discussion is a follow on from my previous thread Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family, a thread I started when my wife was admitted to hospital for the third time in 6 months and when everything around me seemed to be falling apart. It was a space where I could vent and express my emotions and helped me to process a particularly difficult time not only in my own life but for our family and helped me to hold myself together in order to support my family. For that I am most grateful.

Those of you who were following our journey will know that on my darlings return home I have been encouraged by my councillor to implement some loving boundaries, (lovingly implemented guidelines, not as rules to be enforced), and some self-care for myself.

Now that my darling is home the purpose of this new thread is to document our journey of healing and implementing new boundaries and commitment to self-care, not only so that I can have a visual plan for myself (a bit of self-accountability to follow through with plans in place) but in the hope that it may help others processing similar trials. It will also be an opportunity to track our progress over time.

604 replies

591 - 600 of 604

1...59 60 61

In response to: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

soulSenior Contributor18 Jan 2018, 8:05 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Glad to hear that you had a pleasant family day out at the zoo @Determined. A nice way to spend the time in the lead up to the start of the school year.

I'm really hoping that S2 has a brilliant year and that his relationship with his teacher allows him to reach his potential and enjoy going to school. Hope he will develop satisfying friendships as well as school is such a social environment.

I think that it is a good idea to start a new thread. You certainly had more than your fair share of hardships last year. Hopefully there won't need to be any hospital stays this year. You'll have to think up something apt - perhaps something like "Managing Life with my BPD Wife". That's pretty simple but I'm sure you'll come up with a better alternative.

In response to: Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

DeterminedSenior Contributor18 Jan 2018, 8:24 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Thanks @soul,

Nice to see you again, trust all is as well as it can be for you.

In response to: Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

DeterminedSenior Contributor19 Jan 2018, 5:49 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Well we have had a couple of wins today 😊

We had a meet the teacher afternoon at S2's school, while he did not get the teacher he wanted and we would have liked both darling and I quite liked his assigned teacher, we explained some things and she seems keen to work with us.

Also it will be a shared teaching role between the 2 teachers with one big class, I believe both teachers will work well with S2 so a big relief. Both teachers seem keen to work with his unique personality and sensitivity and appreciated the insights.

We also had our first couples counselling session today, darling connected with the lady right away despite big reservations prior, I am quite confident that this will be great for my darling individually as well as us as a couple, the councillor had a special empathy for her (and me) immediately having lost a child to BPD, finding someone who actually understands bpd has been challenging so this depth of understanding has removed a big barrier for my darling.

Hour and a half drive to get to her but it will be well worth it I think.

In response to: Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Shaz51Senior Contributor19 Jan 2018, 5:58 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

sounds like a good postive day @Determined

In response to: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Unknown userMember19 Jan 2018, 6:59 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Hope sessions continue to go well @Determined

In response to: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Unknown userMember20 Jan 2018, 10:25 am AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Hope you have a good weekend Bro. Any plans @Determined?

In response to: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

DeterminedSenior Contributor20 Jan 2018, 2:04 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

I was on call to assist at school moving into new buildings and setting up @Former-Member but have not heard so assume builders are still going. Glad Im not the principal lol. Monday morning will be interesting.

So we have launched into a clean up day at home instead. Darling saw a program on tv last night where a horder was getting help to tidy up his hosue, it sent her into a dizz.

So far this morning I have taken 4 large garbage bags of clothes to the op shop. 2 mor bags in the bin, wheelie bin full of stuff to burn and that is just my side of the bedroom lol. Children have also sent 2 large bags of toys to the op shop.

Feeling a bit drained after all that because I really have a hard time letting go of stuff. Need to finish the bedroom this ave and on to the office next week.

How are things for you. Trust all is well 😊

In response to: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Unknown userMember20 Jan 2018, 4:48 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Goods and shackles I call them Bro.

There is a declutter thread on the LE side - can tag you in @Determined

In response to: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

DeterminedSenior Contributor20 Jan 2018, 6:56 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

Shackles is about right @Former-Member

We have had many false starts but my desire is to keep chipping away until we have only what we actually need or use regularly.

My darling to her credit has managed a supportive and soft approach today which has helped me a lot. In the past she has pushed too hard for me to get rid of stuff and I dig my heals in and give up.

In response to: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

DeterminedSenior Contributor20 Jan 2018, 7:17 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for a wife with Borderline Personality Disorder- Sequel to Diary of wife’s hospital stay - holding it together for our family.

My clutter was one of the big issues my darling raised at couples counselling yesterday. I am hoping that she can see that wuth the rught approach (aka not being too pushy) we can achieve big things.

I do feel sad that my difficulty in letting go of stuff is so hard for her 😳
But making a commitment to try harder for her.

591 - 600 of 604

1...59 60 61