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My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Unknown userMember
My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
I told my therapist what the voices said and now I feel so drained and washed out and worthless and useless. These are my daily companions and I'm so scared of them. They haunt me and feel me with fear. They tell me to hurt myself and that I need to d i e. That I should. That I deserve to. But I'm too scared.
In response to: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Unknown userMember
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Oh, I'm so glad @Former-Member! You are a natural at helping people out and caring for them. I don't know you in real life, but I imagine you would be just as kind and caring as you are on sane. I sent an email to my doctor and he said to get some bright light and to give my circadian rhythm a bit of a kick start - so hopefully that might help. I think I might go for a swim tomorrow as well - exercise sometimes helps to boost my mood. *gets back to study*
In response to: Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Unknown userMember
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Going nuts - people keep talking and laughing in the library and the devil keeps saying they're talking about me. Getting really stressful and distracting!!! ARRGGGHHHHH!
In response to: Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Unknown userMember
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
I'm seriously losing my shit. I can't handle this anymore. I want the voices to stop. I want it all to stop. Why can't they just leave me alone!?! I just need to be able to concentrate, and I'm so distractible. I don't need a running commentary of what kind of a horrible, bad failure of a person I am. If I could just cut my ears off or take out part of my brain. I just wish this would stop.
In response to: Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Unknown userMember
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Sometimes this place makes me feel more alone than I did in the first place......
In response to: Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
BabooSenior Contributor
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Do you have headphones and music to listen to atm?
In response to: Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Unknown userMember
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Yeah, I'm currently listening to some loud music. I know this sounds completely crazy, but I can feel him standing behind me, I can feel his breath on my ear. And people keep on laughing and I think they're laughing at me. I need to get this assessment done, but I just can't concentrate. There is no way I'm going to finish it now and it's due in at midnight. And I don't want to go to my therapists appointment tomorrow if my voice is so loud.
In response to: Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
BabooSenior Contributor
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
well im here too- maybe i can distract them for a while to let you work 😉 we will be over here playing uno.
( seriously thou, your doing an amazing job talking about your experience right now. and being out and about with symptoms is hard- look how good your doing right now. your brave, strong, determined, inspirational to me anyways )
In response to: Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Unknown userMember
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Thanks @Baboo - that's given the old self esteem a boost. I just don't know what to do. I would normally at this stage just go home and go to bed. But I HAVE to get this assessment in tonight. But the thing is I KNOW I've failed this assessment - I haven't even done 40% of it. And since it's worth 60% of my final mark I've effectively just failed the subject. The problem is I'm doing my masters and if I fail a subject I won't be able to apply do a PhD. So I've basically just ruined my life. And I just can't cope with another day of this. I spoke with my doc and he said to give it a few days, but it's just so unfair. And I'm scared of the voice - I know intellectually that it's a part of me, but that just scares me even more. It means that what it's saying are true. It's like it knows my worst fears and yells them at me. And I'm scared I might have been talking back or something. People around me have been laughing all day.
In response to: Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
BabooSenior Contributor
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
i once had to study the same subject 3 years in a row because i couldnt pass it. It was a diploma thou- not uni. what are you studying for? a particular job? i think we never stop learning. At one stage of my life i was content to be a student forever- studing and learning. some how assignments deadlines didnt freak me out. But again- ive never been to uni, so i dont know what that is like.
In response to: Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Unknown userMember
Re: My post to the universe of nothingness has just disappeared.....
Hey @Former-Member with you too. Right by your side telling the voice to rack off until your assignment is done. Keep going @Former-Member. Just a few more hours and see what you can get done. Let's get on the we don't care what anyone thinks train and worry about other stuff later. You can do this and it might work out yet. I'm cracking that whip behind ya 😜😘.
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