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Over it

Hayley1Casual Contributor12 June 2017, 6:06 pm AEST

Over it

I have everything I have ever wanted in life and more.. An adoring fiance, amazing job, great family and friends and yet nothing is able to fill this gapping hole I have within.
Constant feelings of overwhelming sadness, anxiety, paranoia and complete nothingness. I constantly ask myself what is the point?
I have tried everything meds, psychologists, psychatrists and lifestyle changes with no avail.
I'm tired ive been fighting with myself for years!
Feels like no-one will ever get me. I'm so lost!!

41 replies

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In response to: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 8:42 pm AEST

Re: Over it

Hey @Hayley1 ,

I am so sorry to hear this 😞 We are all on here for a reason and every reason is so different and so unique. To feel as though you have a gapping hole in your life whilsy having everything you have ever wanted is so horrible feeling. It can also lead you to feeling quite hopeless 😞

I currently feel hopeless too. I know what it feels likw to feel lost and trapped in life and thoughts. You are definitely not alone and I for once, definitely DO get what you are saying.

I am hoping you find some comfort here on the forums and you also find that it helps in some way. I am also new here, I just joined today and everyone has already been so welcoming.

I hope things get better for you.

In response to: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 8:42 pm AEST

Re: Over it

is such a horrible feeling*

In response to: Re: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 8:46 pm AEST

Re: Over it

Hi and welcome @Hayley1 and @Former-Member

@Hayley1 - im sorry that there is that hole of sadness for you right now - that sounds really difficult and confusing, especially as you say other areas are ok in your life. I'm also glad that you have those other nice areas of life that might help to get you through. I'm feeling a bit similar in feeling fed up with trying stuff that doesnt seem to help lesson my ... pains?

I really hope that you both find some comfort and support here on the Forums,

Take care

In response to: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 8:49 pm AEST

Re: Over it

@Former-Member hi there.

Hope you are well. Personally I am having quite a tough time.

In response to: Re: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 8:52 pm AEST

Re: Over it

Sorry to hear that you're having a tough time tonight @dazeddanais - is there anything particular happening?

In response to: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 8:57 pm AEST

Re: Over it

It has just been very difficult in general @Former-Member . I have been lacking in support for a while. I have already had two suicide attempts this year that have required hospitalizations.. although that was only medically and not mentally. Mentally I was hospitalised 6 times last year but they now refuse to do that as they say it hasn't helped me. I have selective mutism, meaning that I find it very hard to verbally talk.. and that is the main reason why hospital and mental health professionals tend to give up on me.. as they get frustrated that I can't talk and I get frustrated too because I try so hard to talk and want to be able to talk but words and thoughts are stuck inside of my head. They then leave me and my family aren't supportive and dont want me receiving help. They didnt even visit me in hospital when I was told that I was going to potentially die and that was very painful. I just guess that I feel so alone. I have nothing to wake up for and just am not functioning.

Thanks for caring

In response to: Re: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 9:01 pm AEST

Re: Over it

Hi @Former-Member

Sounds like things are really really tough. So im especially glad that you've found the forums. I can relate to it being really hard to get words out. I find it so hard to speak as well. there will be so much going on in my head and thoughts and agruments for the things that i want to say that I find it almost impossible to say anything. For everything that i want to say, there is a 'but...' type of thought and i freeze... or dissociate, or both. very frustrating and also isolating. I have an awesome psychologist who i trust but its still so hard.

Even though 'they' say that hospital hasnt helped you in the past... what do you feel? did it help at all? It sounds as though you could do with some extra support 😞

In response to: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 9:09 pm AEST

Re: Over it

@Former-Member it is very frustrating and isolating isn't it? I am so sorry that you can relate. It is something si debilitating and often causes me to not stand up for myself and to be trampled on. I can tell that you relate to that also but I am glad that you have a paychologist who you trust. CYMHS deserted me with a letter in the mail to say they are giving up on me. I guess I got too much for them

I don't know whether or not it has helped. I mean, it was helpful in the way that I had that space to escape the world and that I was in a safe environment in which I could not harm myself. I guess the verbal side of things made it difficult though but for some odd reason I felt more comfortable in hospital then in the community and more safe... and it is better than being alone all the time.. completely suicidal and left to rot. If you get what I mean

It is rough because I feel as though nothing helps in a way and I feel so hopeless 😞 I just feel so stuck and don't know what to do

In response to: Re: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 9:14 pm AEST

Re: Over it

oh dear @dazeddanais - a letter in the mail to close your support is really very poor... though i've seen similar things happen... Have you got a GP? perhaps it might be good to look into getting a referral to a different type of support maybe? I used to have a support worker who i was referred to by community mental health, there might be some way to get access to a different type of support service? Are you recieving care from a psychiatrist or psychologist? they may also have some ideas for different supports, and might not be 'therapy' type supports but daily living type stuff.
Yes, i kind of wish i couldnt relate lol, but it is nice to know that we are not so unusually alone in the things that we feel/go through as well, which is one of the benefits of the forums 🙂

In response to: Over it

Unknown userMember12 June 2017, 9:22 pm AEST

Re: Over it

No, the people who disclosed the letter was my old psychologist, psychiatrist and case worker. So my whole support system was gone in a flash. They haven't even organised an appointment with me since January. Even after the suicide attemps where part of my "discharge plans" were for them to have constant contact with me and the hospital and services such as kidshelpline have also nagged at them about it but I suppose they still decided to desert me in the end. My parents aren't supportive and I am not financially able to get support for myself, so i can't really go to anyone in my area expect CYMHS because they were free. I also used to be on antidepressants but after a serious OD, they took me off of my medication cold turkey. Which also was unhelpful.<br><br>People in the field have just been so awful and disrespectful and unhelpful towards me. My GP would always automatically send me to the ER if I ever approached her about my mental health.. which was always through writing as I cant freaking talk. I just sit there shaking and panicking.<br><br>I wish you couldn't relate either. It is a horrible feeling @Former-Member . I hope things are better for you and you are doing well yourself

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