BOOK CLUB: The body keeps the score

Hi @CheerBear and @mudsum,

Definitely no de-friending from me @mudsum...although defriending from me would actually be impossible because no one around here is my friend to start with. I don't do friends - they all hurt and go away.

I have been a burrito for most of today, but I am now up and about and my goals for the rest of the day are: 1) vacuum the house and then 2) read chapter 12 of TBKTS. I figure I will just dive in there and then when your copy comes @mudsum I'll start back at the beginning. I have read it before, but it was ages ago.

@Scar @mudsum @CheerBear @NikNikOk, so my one achievement thus far today is that I read chapter 12 of TBKTS. I hope my reflecting on what I read isn't going to ruin the book for you @mudsum??? ***SPOILER ALERT***

The thing that jumped out at me in this chapter is how the whole concept of mental illness is socially constructed. I am thinking particularly of this bit:

Early in the war the British created the diagnosis of "shell shock," which entitled combat veterans to treatment and a disability pension. The alternative, similar, diagnosis was "neursthenia," for which they received neither traetment nor a pension. It was up to the orientation of the treating physician which diagnosis a soldier received (Van Der Kolk, 2014, pp. 184-185).

Wow, nothing has really changed in the past 100 years has it!!!! This is EXACTLY what it is like trying to get the disability pension now. It has nothing to do with actual need, it just depends on whether you can find the right "expert" to tick the right box.

I HATE this system. I hate that we as a society are so obsessed with boxes and labels. Why can't we just focus on need!!!!!!! It reminds me of a time a couple of years ago when I got dragged into hospital by the police. I was in total crisis and severely emotionally dysregulated. I explained to the nurse that I have BPD and ASD and she asked me "so...is the emotion dysregulation you are experiencing right now due to the BPD or ASD?" Er...

I found it really tough reading about the attitudes that society had to "shell shock" / PTSD during WWI and WWII. Sadly, I don't think those attitudes have changed as much in 100 years as we might like to think they have.

I found this statement really interesting; Culture shapes the expression of traumatic stress (Van Der Kolk, 2014, p. 187).

The whole chapter really highlights to me how there are a whole lot of socio-political factors that influence how mental illness is conceptualised. All of that kind-of gets missed in the medical model.

Anyway, they're my thoughts on the chapter. I think chapter 12 was a good place for me to start @CheerBear because we get to the "how-to-fix-it" bit in the next chapter. Maybe you should start reading at chapter 12 @mudsum when your copy arrives. I think reading the how-to-fix-it bit before reading the this-is-how-trauma-breaks-brains bit might create for a more positive vibe. That's what I'm hoping anyway...cos I sure as heck need some positivity in my world right now!

On to chapter 13 for me...

@CheerBear Strangely enough, I just seem to have been silenced on the very issue of how psychologists are trained, on another thread. I posted about it and yet the post is not there. I don't feel nearly as safe on the Forums on the weekends, compared to during the week. I really really really need a safe weekday ship right about now. Suddenly I am super super super badly missing CherryBomb with her core values and beliefs that shone through so brightly in everything she said here in Forum Land. I feel afraid. I know it is just a trigger. I know you hear me and believe me when I talk about bad stuff in the MH system...because you have experienced it too. Maybe it was just a computer glitch...but I have a feeling it wasn't and I know there was nothing inappropriate in my post. I super super super wish it was a weekday right now.

@CheerBear I got the email confirming my post was removed. I am in a giant muddle and it sounds like you are too. I need to get to my wave thread. It's totally ok if you can't ride with me. I hate that it is a long weekend. The safe ships will be back on Tuesday. We've got this. Bobbing in the ocean and snuggled in the nest, we've got this!!!!!!

@CheerBear I feel really really really yuck. Somehow it makes it feel a tiny bit better knowing that I am not alone in feeling yuck. Did you see my apparently offensive post before it was removed? I will definitely follow up with a safe ship about this on Tuesday. There was nothing offensive about the post at all. Apparently it contravined the guideline "do not publish content that may incite hatred or is offensive." The moderator is concerned that what I wrote might discourage others from seeking help from a psychologist. Er...based on that theory, I would never have had the opportunity to share any of my story here in Forum Land. I am super grateful for the regular safe ships. Tuesday is only two sleeps away, that's not very long.

Ps. This thread is going well right now isn't it. Who could have predicted we would be living out the very thing I reflected on only a few hours ago. Spooky!