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Flower back & starting over

Flower back & starting over

Good morning everyone and to my dear friends,

@Former-Member@Appleblossom @Kurra @BlueBay @Determined @utopia @Zoe7 @Queenie @Sahara @Shaz51 @Former-Member

I hope you are okay.

EVERY DAY IS A NEW BEGINNING, TAKE A DEEP BREATH, SMILE, AND START AGAIN.

The past 12 month have definitely been a game changer for me. Although it's been over two years of starting to discover - step by step - my mental health issues and coming to terms with the effect my childhood and other trauma had on my mental health, the past 12 months changed my life. I was in hospital three times, learnt more than I ever thought I would (want to) learn about mental health and strategies, adjusted my life and in the end finished the career I have always worked for so hard and wanted more than anything else in my life. I've ended relationships and created boundaries. I've started slowly to accept my inner child and that I actually have mental health issues.

And now I start with a clean canvas. A canvas that I will paint on and over for the rest of my life. Layers and layers of acrylic colours. Space for mindmaps to figure out what's really important for me, space for happy memories and for sad ones, but mainly space for the here and now.

I know my post sounds encouraging and hopeful. I am hopeful that my current deep depression will lift and that I will find enthusiasm to start work on that canvas. At the moment I allow myself to rest. Rest from the struggles of the past 12 months. And at times when the fog lifts, I am encouraged to look at the world with different eyes and explore different opportunities.

You have all made a positive impact on my journey and I am sure there are new friends to be made, so I am back and hoepfully this time, here to stay.

Have a great day everyone x

117 replies

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In response to: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

I would not call your life a failure @Former-Member! No way.

I don't see how you have failed. Sometimes life is a process of achieving things, but when those things no longer suit us, then we leave them behind and turn towards different ways of living, I think. Mental illness can act as a catalyst for this to happen, but so can many other things.... and a lot of what happens to us is absolutely beyond our control, to an extent.

In response to: Re: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

Hi @Former-Member ..... 💜🌷

I agree with @Sahara .... but even self-sabotage is serving a purpose when it is present, and to some extent it's there in all of us ..... but it can instigate a change of direction that takes you to better places, or on a self-discovery journey.

We are in quite a pickle over here with what is emerging in our lives, but it is certainly that .... a self-discovery, awareness, and path-changing journey.

Picking up the threads again, and deciding where you want to go from here is what is important now ..... are you receiving help to do that ?

Hugs Hon ..... here sitting with you and listening.

In response to: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

Hi @Sahara and @Faith-and-Hope

Thank you for your messages. I think the biggest thinking trap I fall for is beating myself up, actually beating the shit out of myself. Sometimes I physically want to beat myself or get beaten. I'm just screwed up.

I feel better now, as I had my meds...

In response to: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

I reckon that's gonna be my WH @Former-Member .... he has that mindset already, it's just focussed on beating himself up with a punishing exercise and diet regimen at the moment ..... when he has to stop that he is going to have to learn new ways to redirect those responses into positive channels.

💜💕

In response to: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

Oh I know that trap, I used to train 2 hours a day and eat according to schedules and portion sizes.

Yeah that's a nasty crash he could set himself up for, I did, injured myself so badly, had physio for over a year! Hope he has a smoother landing!

In response to: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

Thanks @Former-Member .....

He has torn muscles left, right and centre, but he's still going like a bill at a gate after 8 years ..... so driven .....

Standing by, and yeah .... I hope we can get him to a soft landing ......

❣️

In response to: Re: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

Please don't beat yourself up @Former-Member. It's pointless to do that. I know it's difficult. I have the same trouble... I am hard on myself, for no reason.

I remember one psychologist saying to me "You seem to make a lot of rules for yourself" and I do. It's silly, but I feel I can't move forward unless I am very strict and controlling with my own self. Otherwise, I think I will achieve nothing!

Then I get all rebellious with myself and throw out my own rules. I get annoyed with myself so easily.

In response to: Re: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

Hello @Former-Member, how are you today my friend

In response to: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

❤️

In response to: Re: Flower back & starting over

Re: Flower back & starting over

@Former-Member

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