Carer's recovery ... sounds good.
re values being in line etc as Cherry bomb asked, and linking in my perspective on the process of defining my values... and reinforcing Suzzane's comments about age and singing on the bike....
Well, I do believe the BPD world is a tad interesting. As a carer, I believe we question our role in the disorder very much. In fact mother blame is still a part of the stigma in BPD world. Living with BPD in the house is enough to have everyone emotionally dysregulated, carers are only human. So, when a carer solidly begins their journey of discovery, they look closely to see where they are in relation to BPD themselves.
A wonderful Spanish proverb I learn was: if you sleep with dogs, expect to wake up with fleas. This is not meant in any disparaging way at all, but carers need to find those fleas. They need to investigate their behaviours, to question who they are.
The upshot hopefully results in a changed person... we carers of people with BPD expect our loved ones with BPD to go through a change in their thinking. We need to rewire our ways of thinking to.
So, Cherrybomb, my values are the same, but my understanding of what they are has been enriched through learning techniques such as validation, boundary setting, radical acceptance, letting go of ego, and of course, mindfulness and compassion. So, my previous core value of respect is the same, but what I understand by respect has changed. How I practice respect has changed. My self respect has properly begun.
that was my 'recovery' and thank goodness I am older, I feel the experience of the years has helped me with this.
