when is it time for hospital

I haven't spoken to siblings for many years due to shit outlander,got no interest in seeing them and I suffer major anxiety just thinking of them or when I see them.Yes can understand,I was stuck in a situation,and still am and payed a high price.On my walk yesterday I thought of how I was never allowed to grow,how my low status in family defined and ruined my life.I eat at night like your self harm like I am punishing myself, can't keep it down due to anxiety which makes it hard to digest food.Yes we do have many similarities as I have said we are all sensitive people.

Oh @outlander What a day! What a time you've been having for quite a while now! You need to be careful when it comes to the driving, if you lose that right, for whatever reason, you'll be even more stuck! . . . and there's the obvious dangers (accidents) - I think that is one of the good reasons for sleep.

I have no words but plenty of love

I always felt everything was my fault,it wasn't.I am still battling this with my mother who blamed me for everything,the two other siblings could do no wrong,she makes excuses for them .My mother and older sibling made out I was nuts years ago,yet I now AM the one who looks after her,washes her clothes,makes her bed,etccan rarely go out on my own at the age of 45 and when I do I'm made to feel guilty.I had four years counseling,and she failed to see the problems she has put on me that aren't mine, because unfortunately my mother even though I love her is very self centred.I can't tell you how hurt I've been outlander, somehow make a life for yourself because the negative environment will destroy you.I see my mother failing everyday and I get distressed.She nearly died last year and I was excluded from the decision making process in the hospital because she holds the other two siblings and my niece's on a pedestal,yet day to day,my life doesn't count.Dont end up like me outlander.

Feeling for you @outlander Wanting it to stop for you too XxX