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Horrendous anxiety flare up

Horrendous anxiety flare up

I just needed a place to 'talk' about this. Help me work it thorugh a bit maybe. Forgive the wall of words.

I have had anxiety ranging from so severe that it kept me house bound, to a sort of ever present but manageable level for many years. Really started in childhood but was just chalked up to being 'shy', and then 'needy' and then 'difficult' and then 'bad work ethic' and so on.

For the last 10 years or so I am have been mostly able to cope, hold down jobs (albeit with a lot of 'sickies'), maintain a couple of freindships, and manage most elements of daily life most of the time. I am now at a point where I work for a great organisation in the mental health sector, so I can be upfront about WHY I need to have time off sometimes, and a job that has recently blossomed into a career path.

Woke up ths morning with terrible anxiety - mostly triggered by a couple of shitty things coinciding that are going to require me to do a lot more of the stuff that makes me super anxious than usual, as well as being upsetting in and of themselves.

Usually the day after a long weekend I get a bit of anxiety (m y routine is disrupted and the increased time away form work makes it very hard to go back sometimes), but it is at a level I can push through. Today is BAD and I am not gonna make it to work. I have let my boss know and it is ok. But I still feel like shit taking a day off immediately after a long weekend. Like I am taking the piss. And I have to get on top of it, because it can easily blow out of control, the more days of work I miss the less likely I am to be able to get back.

I feel really frustrated because my life is SO pared down. I hardly ever go out, I keep stimulus to a minimum, I take a battery of supplements, I have healthy practices in place, I have safety nets built in all over the place to ward off bad spells like this and they STILL bloody happen.

I want to be able to have a little bit more from life, not much, just a smidge, but I am already living right up to the line that I can manage, and over it sometimes. Over the weekend I was thinking wistfully of trying to start jogging again, something I love but which I have not had the spare emotional energy for quite a while. I was thinking about trying to find a psychologist to get some help for the billionth time, and about seeing a physio for my shoulder which needs rehab. I can't DO any of it. Can't actually face any of it right now. And this is the optional stuff. Right now I can't face the stuff that I do, absolutely need to do - which is also the main stuff upsetting me.

I get a spell like this and something has to give, something that matters to me, like work, or going to the gym or seeing a friend (something I only get to do once every couple of months anyhow) because I just don't have enough resources to handle it. And I don't have much left that I can cut down on.

I have already had to cut down my sessions with my trainer form 3 times a week to 2 times a week because I was not coping with having to leave the house on Saturdays - it was killing my weekend productivity (which then causes me major anxiety). I don't have anything except the gym left that I can cut out really and I really don't want to do that - I don't think I have anough oomph left in me to keep at it on my own. I am working on setting up a home gym (this involves a fairly major overhaul of the garage) so I can at least have a trainer come to me instead of having to go out, but because I have been so drained on weekends this is taking months and months. If I quit training now there is no telling how long it will take to get up again.

I get so frustrated feeling like 'nobody' gets it. 'Nobody' understands that I am pushing myself to the limit every single day that I make it out of the house, and even on the days that I don't make it. It is so god damned HARD sometimes, and I have so little to show for it. People don't realise what the little I have costs me to keep, the sheer number of things I have to give up just in order to be able to do what I can do and they are ALWAYS pushing me to do more in a million little ways that they don't even see as being significant because for them it is easy, so easy that it is invisible.

So I just wanted to post a bit of a whinge on here, where I know there are people who do 'get it', and maybe try to convince myself that I am not tanking my job and my life in one day over nothing.

178 replies

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In response to: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Dear @Former-Member .

It sounds like you did a lot of GOOD and worked sensitively and made a difference to individuals and the MH field in general.

I have not been involved in the MH field for a long time and have seen many positive changes.

It was a good idea that @PeppiPatty brought up about getting help in the house through the GP. She knows a lot about services etc. If I get on well with my new GP one day I may get enough courage to ask her for similar help.

There is another thread about recover and work .. I think there are so many pluses about being in the work place ..that I dont understand how people can think that we would choose not to be a part of it, if it were possible.

@chookmojo Hope you are doing ok ..with the extra double whammies thrwon your way recently.

I am mindful about thread originators ... is that internet etiquette or am I new to it and reading it wrong?

Anyway cheers to you all

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

@Appleblossom Hey there, I am around just a bit quiet and introspective at the moment. Reading a lot and not really going outside because it has been a bit too cold and wet and I am a bit moopy. Little bit of anxiety tonight but not sure what it is about, had some yesterday too.

I'm happy to have other conversations going on in this thread, but thanks for the consideration.

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Just checking @chookmojo quiet can be good.

In response to: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

@Former-Member how are you ?

You are really gonna do it ? You've got to manage your own life because no one is gonna help you hey ? /0)

Please spend time writing a list of what your short term goals are before you see your GP.
I think it's HACK that will help ........
So, sorry to make it personal ......
When I was assessed ( oh the shame ..... I was a passionate worker for Hack clients ! )

I was sitting in the corner of my sofa. Garden was awful, home disgusting....... I started with getting help with the cleaning and writing timetables on how to manage the day ..... You know 8am get up 8.30am.....coffee 9am.....shower. And put it up on the wall with sticky tac.
Then, spending 3 hours writing cards to my friends and family to tell them I'm still alive. ( slow mail ) taking notes from my psychotherapy books ..... , cooking dinners, writing notes for my artwork.
I've also been taught how to sew and embroider from support workers who do crafting.

I'm learning how to manage my own life. I spend pretty much all my time alone if I'm not with my ex husband ..... So I go and have coffees with some support workers if they are like me.

People have helped me clean my home. Next week, ille be able to afford to start doing my garden so a support worker will help out

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Hi @Former-Member and @PeppiPatty

I havent followed everything in this thread (must read back over it at some point!) but I think what youre saying Anne, is that we can start small and take back some of the control over our lives with the routines and stuff.... but along side of that its kind of about letting other people help too (ie. having home help). I ont know where i'd be without the help i get from the ladies who visit me during the week. Sometimes i'm on top of things, and then.. well i seem to be in a bit of a pattern of walk.. stumble... walk... stumble... fall... doh!

But in the end.. i guess its kind of up to us to keep doing it and moving on. and we can be proud of that too.. the keeping on.. the accepting help.

LJ

ps im now going to go back and read over this thread hehe

In response to: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Dearest @Former-Member, @chookmojo, @Appleblossom, all my friends, how I admire and care about you,

You all help Me stop and smell the roses.
All of my ...... Psyso intellectual knowledge ( lol ) I feel like I'm helping change then I feel more confident

Today I'm at home alone , me and Arlo. I posted a photo of me and hubby online and that felt good.
Yes Lj , learning never stops for me. For so many years, actually until now. My life was about very difficult manoeuvring and just to end this all off is this awful court case where the stalker is trying to get me back in his life. Then my neighbour told me he's trying to get in a relationship with her......
I'm working out that I need about 3 to four days alone with no needs of others


What about you ?

Xx

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Maybe it is something about being a certain age ... but I definitely need time and space to myself .. I dont get it in lump sums like 3 days and thats ok I much prefer to know son is doing well ...

he has chosen to live with me and the challenge for me is to mainatin boundaries within the house .. Ie use the piano down your end give me space at my end etc.

I also like when he is busy and out and about .. like he is off today to do a rehearsal and then to visit a friend.

Yes I have a fondness for all you regular forum members.

I also look at threads and notice when people drop off, stop posting and wonder why, and what is happening for them .. if it is due to good things in life or the other....

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

oh yes, i think its good to have down time and alone time too. This last week with the kids being sick and having had days of school and kinder its been pretty full on. But i do wish that I had a social life with other adults to look forward to as well.. in the outside world I mean! Very glad to have here!

But all good!

LJ

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Not sure where I am at

Hey all,

I've been a bit quiet lately because I have been feeling pretty down. I've been watching lots of doco's on YouTube, and that means I haven't been reading or achieving anything or doing much except for watching TV. I just haven't had much headspace, been all turned inwards.

I've been doing a lot of research about Autism Spectrum Disorder, and just seeing more and more how this explains just about everything in my life. It's good to not feel so alone, and to know it is a brain wiring thing not just me 'being difficult, selfish, attention seeking' .

Had a big fight with my husband on Saturday and I have been really down about that, because it is now SO obvious to me that almost all of the areas in which we clash are down to the ASD. I am going to talk to my CP on Wednesday and ask about how to talk to him about it, or maybe see if he can come in on a session, because I don't think he actually gets it and how it impacts me and that I am not choosing to be awful.

I'm still pretty down about the chooks and just not feeling it for the garden anymore, which is hard because I feel like I have lost two hobbies, not just one. It's hard, and I am just feeling down. I haven't done any more colouring.

Back to work tomorrow for the first time in ages. I'm not anxious about it, which is good, but I'm not happy about it either. It'll probably be fine though, and maybe getting back into a more normal routine will snap me out of the glumps.

In response to: Not sure where I am at

Re: Not sure where I am at

I am glad to hear how you are .. just as you are.

I have a big aspie side and I think you can tell by most of my posts that I have never had much os a sense of nuerotypical brain wiring .. things are often topsy turvy for me.

Hope work takes your mind off things.

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