Feeling emotionally out of control

Hi lately I feel like my emotions are out of control, I feel conflicted as I go through bouts of feeling depressed and wanting to disappear while I am able to feel happy sometimes I mostly feel down and almost robotic during the day. I mostly put on a smile just to get by as I get irritated by people asking what is wrong and I also do it for my son but I feel myself sinking its getting harder to hide I've tried self care and grounding but it just doesn't seem to work. Sometimes I feel like I can't breath and my chest hurts. I just want all of it to end I want to be happy and and be there for my son