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Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

NikNikSenior Contributor22 May 2015, 5:32 pm AEST

Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Hi there!

Ask Anything Monday (AAM) gives you the opportunity to ask us anything that you may feel too apprehensive the community. We will post your question anonymously.

To find this week's question, click here

This is how it works:

Email your question to team@saneforums.org with Ask Anything Monday in the subject line
Every Monday the team at SANE Forums will collate the questions that come into our inbox and post them in this thread. We will not attach your name or username to the question. This means that no one will know who has asked what questions.
Other moderators and members will answer the question for you throughout the week
A new set of questions will be posted the following Monday.

Anyone can send us through a question anonymously, so please, don’t hold back!

Please keep an eye on the thread, even if you haven’t submitted a question, you may be able to provide support or advice for another member.

Nik

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In response to: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor27 Mar 2017, 12:30 pm AEDT

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Excellent response @Former-Member ....

Your words are a support to me too.

In response to: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Shaz51Senior Contributor01 Apr 2017, 8:14 pm AEDT

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Hello @NikNik

Hello and welcome to the forum

Excellent response @Darcy ....You have said everything , and thank you for helping me xx

In response to: Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

NikNikSenior Contributor10 Apr 2017, 10:02 am AEST

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Happy Monday everyone!

A big thanks to @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member for responding to the last question.

This week's question:

My adult child (25) has had a diagnosis of bipolar for 5 years now. He still lives with us, which is okay with me because I can make sure he's doing well, taking his medication, eating and going to appointments. He's started talking about moving out of home. I'm excited for him, but also nervous I won't have as much visibility into how he's going. I'm scared I won't be around as often to notice the signs that he's going downhill. How do you get to a point of letting go?

In response to: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor10 Apr 2017, 12:01 pm AEST

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Good morning .... and wcome to the forums .....

It would probably be a good idea to agree on a "deal" before your son left home, whereby he checks in with you, and you check in with him on alternate days .... without a check-in, you reserve the right to come and visit to see that he's okay ..... that might provide a stronger sense of security for him as well because it means he is flying free with his commitments in general, but there is a safety net in place for both of you, with boundaries.

You could then agree to revisit the arrangement periodically and adjust it according to changing needs.

Hope that helps - mum of 5 adult kids here ....

In response to: Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

NikNikSenior Contributor10 Apr 2017, 3:41 pm AEST

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Some wonderful responses via Facebook:

"My 30 year old went into a group home about age 20, then into a flat. He is cared for by a foundation= they visit him daily.. It is not an ideal situation, but gives him independence, and I am close enough to keep an eye on him. His money is looked after by the protective office, and his pension is divided into 3, so he can't spend it all at once. He has an IGA card which can only be spent on food, and also gets meals on wheels, and a cleaner once a fortnight. The mental health team call about twice a week."

"Be Honest"

"Yes, always difficult. ( mainly for you) - it's essential he develops some independence and importantly, basic life skills. Be upfront and discuss your concerns, maybe work together on an acceptable plan- eg, you visit/other every 3-5 days for a period then scale back. Could you both discuss with his Dr/ MH worker? Show your approval and support. Always remember that he has a condition which is prone to relapse, but then so do millions of others- eg Diabetes, Asthma Schizophrenia, Epilepsy. Etc. Important he makes the move. Millions have!- and continue to function well. Cheers."

"It's important he is given the chance to be independent, but make sure he knows you are there for him if he needs it (moving home if need be, or just as support) and make sure he has support services linked in, and a crisis plan ready "

"Besides mental health my disabled brother when diagnosed, we had social worker support from the Government, we were advised that at some stage, and this happened when he was 30 that they need to transition to some sort of independence/care, or nursing home in our case, before you get to old to be a career, and if chronological, you die before he does, then he is more adapted to his environment and has some stability when the time comes. Its sad that most only has their parents. We had several attempts at some homes with issues, but now with his issues he is in a nursing home with suits with proper attention. There needs to be more support for people in young care similar to nursing homes, there is one on the southside of Brisbane."

In response to: Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Shaz51Senior Contributor14 Apr 2017, 12:50 pm AEST

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

hello and welcome

I agree with the comments here

"It's important he is given the chance to be independent, but make sure he knows you are there for him if he needs it

In response to: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

PiaCasual Contributor29 Apr 2017, 12:16 am AEST

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

I just want to ask. Because I have been struggling for so long. My mind is full of everything. From the moment that I was sexually abused by a family member when I was 8 and until now I haven't tell anyone 15 years later. I have issues with myself as well. I am the oldest child which means they have the most expectation from me but I always fail thus, I always feel bad about myself. I am so insecure I am so self concious. Because of that I cannot decided on my own. I was not sure of myself even before and until now. I have attemps of suicide when I was a teenager because I became rebellious then I hurt my parents so I want to hurt myself. After a year, I met a guy. He became my bestfriend and now, he is my fiancee but we are in a long distance relationship for almost two years now. It adds to the depression because he is the one I treat as my sunshine. Then came a family crisis. Everyones getting sick and finances are getting are getting worse. I could say we are broke now. I need to sacrifice myself to work hard and support my family. I am studying stil because even though I already have a degree with honors I still feel less. I still feel not worthy especially for my family. Now, I am getting stress and depress every single day because I want to go home but I am thinking of my work and my studies stil on the go. But I am already having a hard time because i send myself to Uni and i am working hard very hard. But still not enough. I dont know what to do. I always cry. Cry and sometimes so much it is a brwakdown already. Just 3 months ago, i tried to hurt myself again. That is the latest incident. I was alone at home crying. I don't want that to happen again. I dont know about my limits. I feel so helpless. I dont know

In response to: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor29 Apr 2017, 11:31 am AEST

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Good morning @Pia and welcome to the forums .....

It sounds like you would benefit from speaking with a counsellor .....

Your doctor is the person to see first. They can refer you to a counsellor, and I believe they can write a health plan that entities you to a series of free visits.

Take care -

🌷💜
F&H

In response to: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

PiaCasual Contributor30 Apr 2017, 1:21 am AEST

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Thank you
This is my first time to join such forum.
I always depend on myself especially on my inner problems. But now, that it's getting out of hand, u decided to join. Sometimes it's easier to open up on a third party

In response to: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor30 Apr 2017, 1:40 am AEST

Re: Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

That's right @Pia .... that's what the forums are all about ..... and this is the only one I have been on.

It really helps to know you are not alone.

🌷

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