The Weekly Friday Feast

Hi @Shaz51 and @utopia

Thanks for your messages - after a bad day yesterday I was actually okay for the anniversary

After all the worst happened a long time ago and maybe the idea of putting something more positive in the place of the terrible memories is working - and it was terrible and I will never forget that - but I want to leave feeling so terrible in the past and move on with the memories of how much I loved him

And my cat is okay for now - I wish she would eat more - that has me worried

But I was okay today

Thanks girls

Dec

Nite @Shimmer @Shaz51

Sweet dreams x

Thanks @Zoe7,

sorry for the late reply just had to drop my son at his girlfriends. I'm glad you got help today too. And I was sooo glad to read you got your trailer back. What a relief! I guess for both of us it is a day to ta thing, how we survive. Did you get a plan sorted for when she is on leave? I'm not sure what mine is doing for leave yet. She said she will try and work one day between Christmas and new year for clients who need it so I'll see. I hope you sleep tonight, thinking I might get some help to sleep tonight, it's been a really rough few days.

Thanks @utopia

Writing his story is something I have started many times over the last decades - I have started but the story is so complex it is hard to know what is important and what is not

But for him to suffer the way he did - as if he was really suffering from cultural confusion and writing about this is something firm to start with

It's like telling the story of two people - not as if he was schizophrenic - I am sure his MI was not like that - but he was torn apart inside - after all - I was into celebrating and commemorating everything that is meaningful to me in our Western Culture - we always went to street parades - and he ran off with a couple of mates in his early teens and complained they had not put on street parade in the city - something that puzzled me for years - until I remember how we wanted our kids to understand our history

But when I was so young myself I did not think of our Indigneous People - I did not know about his past - I now feel as if he had it stolen from him

But finding out for myself is very likely to help me - and sinceI have been seeing my new therapist I have been feeling better most days - even if I seem to sleep a lot - I am getting more things attended to

I am so glad you have brought this to my attention - maybe I can start reading the Aboriginal Websites over the weekend - I am good at research and for this I can start at home

I saw The Last Samurai last night and the quote I liked was

"I think a man does what he can until his destiny reveals itself"

I think mine just has - brilliant - I have been looking for a long time

Dec

That's great @Decadian 💜🤗

Thanks @Former-Member

Towey trailer home safe and locked away!!

Didn't get to work out a plan - had a pretty bad session - lots of sh*t stirred up! Did manage to relax a bit but came out feeling quite sick and with a massive headache. Then had to pick up my trailer. Sat at home for a while then went to GP - that made me feel a bit better. Made some small adjustments to my meds to see how I go over the weekend. Seeing both Monday - last time with Psych for 3 weeks. After today not sure the break will be a bad thing - maybe need some time to process and heal a bit physically and mentally. GP doesn't finish until next Friday - so still have some support around. Have numbers to be able to make contact with both over the break if needed - amazing support! Need to spend more time at the beach with my fur baby - that really helped tonight.

I'm exhausted but not tired - I'm going to have some help to sleep also.

Will check with you in the morning to see how you are (if you are around). Sleepwell

@Former-Member and @utopia

Yes - this is terrific - really great

And you are right Utopia - we can never meet nor even know each other's names - and if I ever write more for publication I will not even use my legal name - all I did about this in the past was so disturbing to my family I was published under a different name - and I will use that same name in the future

We can never know how we affect other people - we can lead by example and I have found through life it is not the popular people who have been the most influential but rather people who tend to be loners - who have run the risk of being a little different

Actually - I already have a book I have unearthed containing Aboriginal Myths, Legends and Fables - and all of these are different things - I may have looked at it in the past but for some reason I have kept this book for many years so this is something I can start with straight away

And Teej - I am so far behind with my posts - I have read that things have been really bad for you during the last couple of days when I have not been on-line - and I guess there are times when I won't be present - I can only handle a limited amount of "stuff" at times

But I do care and I notice - although you may not have noticed this - you do seem to have it together more than you did a few months ago - when you sat in your car because it was safe. I didn't catch all your messages over this time but I know it was a really bad spell

Is it Christmas - Christmas Blues - yes - I understand. I had a serve of that yesterday when I was feeling really bleak - I have actually bought nearly everything but felt overwhelmed with the little I haven't done

Still - I was thinking of you - and hope things are less painful for you right now

[hugs]

Dec