What is normal in the world

Hello @Former-Member I had this conversation last week with a friend, I have never had goal setting behaviour, I did not want children, I did not want a house with I picket fence, when I was self employed I did not want to expand, a friend who started the same type of business now employe's 90 people, through my 20's I was forever asked by friends, when are you going to get married, get a house etc etc, and that eventually made me pull away from my friends, so yes it was pointed out to me that I was not "normal" I do not understand why I was like that. except for the children part I knew very early that I was not going to pass this illness onto any children.

Dear Loulathecat,

There is no such thing as normal in this world. I have bi-polar too, and it has severely afected my life at certain stages, but I am also an individual with a unique personality like everyone else in the world. Sometimes we get tripped up by our illness, other times we get tripped up by other sides to our characters. You are not a freak. You are a human being like the rest of us. And "happiness" is something we make for ourselves and is diferent with eveyone. You might want a Porsche. I don't.

Start with the little things which give you pleasure. A cup of coffee out. A good book. Some drawing or painting. A chat with a friend. I know you feel you don't want the world, I have felt that way myself, I have felt what's the point doing this day after day, but silly as it seems make a list of things you enjoy (or don't mind doing) and try to incorporate at least one into your life every day. Nothing can "make" you happy, you have to seek out happiness. By the way, I have 4 children, don't let bi-polar ruin your life. Ellu

Helo @Former-Member

From reading your post I am almost hearing that the things that you want or need in your life is something that you think you 'should' need or want and this is an external pressure from peers around you but in reality you don't and this is concerning you and making you feel tired. You are not weird, you need more and that is okay.

Have you always felt this way or is this a new concern of yours? And I am interested to know more about what you mean by 'don't want life' what is life to you, I would like to understand that more?

Thinking of you @Former-Member ❤️

Having Bipolar and being in a marriage is easier if you let your partner 'in' and involve them as a Carer. Sometimes feeling Bipolar is different to living Bipolar. Mood tracking against activities is a good way to get started on setting your own and joint milestones. Also knowing that on days that are simply another day that's ok. Self nurturing and grace can be an important part of daily life with a mental illness.

I have children, I'm divorced and my children don't live with me. I don't think I failed though as I put many years into raising them and looking after my mental health. However not involving my partner as a Carer ultimately meant we lost the good that made us a couple......

good luck with with your relationships and I hope that you can treasure them,

Dear Loulathecat,

I have bi-polar as well, and sometimes I feel as if there is nothing to attract me about the world. I have family, children, friends but sometimes I just don't want to know them, Ijust want to lie in bed with the pillow over my head and wait for time to pass.

I'll tell you one thing that has helped me greatly - that is doing voluntary work. It doesn't matter what type of work it is, as long as it is something you enjoy doing. Helping others makes you feel better about yourself and makes you feel like a real human being. Even if you do only half a day a week, that gives you something to look forward to which having your nails done doesn't. It helps make you feel part of a community, and things seem meaningful again. Any of the organizations such as the Salvation Army or St. Vincent de Paul would welcome you with open arms. Try shifting the point of gravity away from YOUR life to the lives of others in the world. I do it, and it gives meaning to my life.

Dear loulathecat,

I know how you feel about those bi-polar sensations because I am bi-polar too. I saw my doctor today and he said, "You know, what do you think is the worst thing people feel about bi-polar disorder?" he said "Loneliness". We always feel a bit diferent from the world, outsiders even when we have family and good friends. Loneliness is something no tablet can take away. It is something we need to accept and work around. By making sure we live full lives and contribute in some way to society, and working out our own coping strategies for when we are feling down. These strategies vary from person to person, and it may take some time to work out what works for you, I have no answer (does anyone?) but I accept that feelings of loneliness are part of my illness and I have to do my best to cope with them. Wishing you well,

Ellu