14th year house bound

Hi My Angel,

I am just checking in, it is ok if you don't want to talk, or even check in, i just was thinking about you all day and thought i had better send a message.

I hope the girls are managing to occupy themselves.

Take care, be safe

Jacques

I know you where not trying to make me feel bad @DefiantPanda, it just makes me so sad the impact others have on our wellbeing, i am so glad you have found some happyness in your life, you are an amazing person, i wish i was as strong as you.

Jacques

Oh oh I am pretty old @Jacques

My angel,

Well i did not sleep well last night, i am pretty exhaused now, i am going to try to do something today, i have not walked for so long now, i think my fitness regieme is all but over.

The sun is out, but it is very cold, i suppose it would be cold down your way too, i hope it is sunny so you and the girls can get outside into the fresh air.

Take care my angel, be safe

Jacques

Hi @Jacques

Wow - what a surge of support from the community. I honestly think they see so much potential for you Jacques and they want to get you across the initial hurdle of seeking help from a professional.

@hiddenite made some good points about reassuring you of your concerns of the GP / psychologist calling the CATT team. If they don't see an immediate risk, there is no need for them to escalate. As Karen said, while there's no magic pill, even just some relief from what you experience, is a great thing.

@Appleblossom also had some good points about trying psychotherapy. I think many members would agree that it takes some time to find a professional you connect with. The 10 free medicare appointments will definitely help you decide whether you have found the right person or not.

@DefiantPanda 's story is really inspiring - and I think she wanted to share that because she can see part of herself in what you're experiencing - particularly around being in a small town and lacking confidence. It sounds like she had quite a struggle to get the help she wanted - but she got there.

@Chris 's experience with social phobia and anxiety sounds very similar to you. She had excellent tips on engaging with a psychologist. Again, she struggled to find the right help - but finally got there. @Chris I found it really interesting that the psychologist you have now helped you by not focusing on the past. It is excellent that he/she was able to realise that it wasn't helpful for you and didn't force you to discuss it - and focused on 'the now'. Jacques - I think this would be really helpful for you too.

Also Chris provided some great tips on writing out what you want to say. I too find this really helpful (I'm one of those people who will cry as soon as someone asks me if I'm okay.. and then I can talk). A lot of professionals see this mode of communication alot - so they won't think anything of it.

I really liked @Former-Member's point around rage - and to use it as fuel. You did say Jacques that you hold a lot of anger and it really impacts you. While I think most members aren't saying that you should be able to ignore your anxiety, rather they see an opportunity for you to improve your current situation.

Overall - every member who has posted here has a belief in you. They get this belief from what you have shared, the support you have shown others and just getting to know you.

You have a whole community believing in you and cheering you on. I hope you use their strength to reach out and ask for help.

Getting a mental health plan from your GP would be the first step. Would you be willing to do that? Could your mum assist you with this? I'm sure she would be pleased to hear you are reaching out for help.

We will be here every step of the way.

Hi @Phoenix82,

Hey 82 the year i was born.

please don't feel sorry for me, i think it is a birth defect, i have been like this for as long as i can remember. yes it is an exhausting existance, but it is one i have lived all my life, it is a tough way to go on, i just hope i can make it to look after mum in her old age, not looking good though.

Yes it is so nice to talk to people like yourself with similar experiances, who don't laugh at me because i am different, it is quite a shock actually, i am not used to people being so nice, i feel so bad for letting all my friends here down.

Yes i try to enjoy the small things, but the past 6 months i have lost interest in everything, i do nothing most days but play video games and look out the window and sleep, so much sleep. i try to sleep as much as possible to make the time go quicker, it works, i don't really remember much of the past 14 years.

I am so glad you have found a way to give yourself kindness and have the wisdom to deal with the dark thoughts, i wish i could deal with mine, my dark thoughts are so strong i can't block them out, i jsut have to deal with them, and not very well.

It is so nice to speak to you @Phoenix82, thank you for sharing how you cope with your MI, i am very grateful for your insights.

Take care, be kind to yourself

Jacques

Hi My angel,

I know now you are really struggling, i hope you manage to find some support Karen, you really need it, my thoughts are with you every day, please remember that, even if i don't write, i am thinking about what you might be doing, how you are going, and thinking of your beautiful home.

Take care my angel.

Jacques

Hi Jacques

I'm still here it's been so busy with everyone supporting you.

I don't want to bring anyone down. I just feel like I'm losing the battle. It's not one I can fight.

I saw the girls psychologist today so overwhelming, I feel so judged, they don't understand.

Then an appointment with my psychologist who told me she is unable to see me anymore.

I can't do it.

Not another one, they all give up. Well so can I.

Karen