14th year house bound

Karen i understand, i find it hard to have these severe emotions from normal to sad/angry. It is so hard, but as you said to me we need to fight, we need to focus on the here and now. I become quiet too, yesterday, last night and this morning i never spoke to mum, i could not fight off the sadness and rage i felt and did not want to put mum through the pain of watching me struggle, it is like my whole being shuts down, i want to be alone, just be within myself with my daemons.

Yes i would love nothing mor than to cry too, i don't have any outlet for my pent up emotions.

Karen, you have to fight, fight for me, fight for the girls, fight for yourself most of all, Karen it breaks my heart to see my best friend struggling, i just want to hug you and tell you things will get better, for you and for me.

We just need to keep hanging on for the moment of freedom.

I don't know what to believe in. I don't have faith in myself to beat this

Karen i know how difficult it is, i have been in the place you are in now, only yesterday i didn't think i could fight this, you helped me see it was a fight worth fighting.

Karen you have an inner strength i wish you could see, i see it every day, every message, you fight every day, struggle every day, i am so proud of you so lucky to have you as my friend, you heart is so big you support me and struggle for yourself, i wish i could give you a small fraction of the hope you give me every day.

My friend, put on some music, feel all the feelings the good the bad the sad, let the emotions out, the more you keep them deep inside you the more they will build. i allowed myself to feel all my emotions last night, my darkest time to date, i felt, processed and allowed the feelings to pass through me, once you allow them to be they have no power anymore.

just remember you do not walk this path alone, i am holding your hand, we will walk together.

Karen every day has day and night, llight and dark, you and i have to go through light and dark times, you are in the dark phase, hole on for the light. we both have to hold onto the light.

I appreciate your kindness Jacques. I'm sorry I don't have the words I knew this was going to be a difficult day, I underestimated how awful it really is.

Karen i know you struggle so much with the girls appointment and your appointment, Karen, i understand, sometimes we over estimate and underestimate our days, the emotions, lifes little suprises the good and the bad, Karen today is just 1 day in your life.

Karen you don't need to speak, i understand what you are going through, i feel so sad you have to go through what i am. i am here for you, i am sorry your bad day has to be on this day. i was so hoping you where going to have a nice day.

Hi @hiddenite and @Jacques

I have been reading your posts tonight and am quite concerned. It seems you're both not doing so well tonight. You're both so wonderfully supportive of one another, though I am concerned that tonight that's not helping either of you.

While I'm not asking you to disconnect from one another, I ask that you do focus on yourselves and make a commitment to following through on one of the suggestions of self care that you have both been suggesting to one another.

For example - Karen suggested:

Acceptance

Use your senses

Breathing meditation

Safe place mental imagery

Positive affirmations

Break your days into hours

Tara pod cast

Mandalas

Walking meditation

Distract

and Jacques you have offered some great self care suggestions too.

Above all, it's really important to not sit in the distress, please call a crisis number if things escalate.

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide call back service 1300 659 467

Please take care of yourselves.

@hiddenite - from what I've read it's your birthday, though it doesn't seem like you're having the best day. I do wish you well for your birthday, but I'm going to hold off with the balloons and streamers for a more appropriate time.

Karen SH is not the answer, it solves nothing, it is just a short term relief, is does nothing for the long term, i struggle with SH too, it does not help me, in fact in the long run it does more harm, try to focus on the here and now, breath, remember mindfullness, i am here to support you unconditionally.

please continue to speak to me, i don't mind, we need to find a way to refocus all the negative energy, @stan has suggested to me some creative writing, i am looking into it, he left a web address for me to look at, please look at it too.