14th year house bound

Hi My Angel,

no i stayed inside today, but the sun comming through the window was fantastic.

oh Karen, it is ok to have some alone time, i do it all the time, sometimes it is good just to be by yourself and think.

yes i am about to get my hot water bottle and sleeping bag, still cold here of a night.

hope you are ok.

Lol

I remember those sticky finger days. Craft wasnt my forte but I tried.

So your girls would not be doing so well at maths and writing .. across the spectrum of subjects if they had not been loved enough allowing them to be clear headed enough to do ok. YOU must have been doing something right.

Whatever discipline or behaviour issues they may have I hope their academic success has been noted by the child trauma team and you given due regard.

Thanks for sharing with me about them. @hiddenite Believe in their resilience.

KAren that is terrible you needed to go that far to protect the girls, who told you these things, the psycologist, you protected those 2 girls and did what you had to do.

no one should judge you, they have not lived your life, your decisions in the past do not matter, what matters now is what decisions you make for the future, of course you are over protective you had to be, it is only natural to make sure you children where/are safe.

Karen, never let anyone tell you you are a bad mother, from what you have told me you have been such a wonderful mother, i don't know too many women who would have done what you did to protect your children.

remember lables are just that, lables, they do not reflect what you are they reflect what others think of you. from what i see the girls love and respect you very much, and want to protect you, so they do not feel any shame of who you are, they feel pride.

The questions of overprotective and permissive parenting are huge. In a fraught situation how do we know what to do. But if your girls are doing well at school then that bodes well for their resilience in the long term. Hold that in your heart when going through tough times with them.

Some people dont realise that though we live in a lucky country for some of us it is like wartime.

Some MH workers have said how could I think to have a relationship with someone who had schizophrenia .. but I tried to focus on the positive ..

I am so glad you can say to yourself ..@hiddenite .. that you took caring and protective steps for your girls.

Karen i want you to look at the girls, right now, tell me they are not wonderful?, tell me they are not smart?, Tell me they are not creative?. No

Well guess what they are smart, wonderful and creative, that is because of you, not you husband, not your mother, not mental health professionals, it was all you.

Karen i understand how other people may judge you, but you need to look at those girls and say to yourself "look at them, they are everything i wished for myself", that is all anyone can ask of themselves.

I think that it is good that you are expressing a much broader range of feelings and telling us many things about your life than staying stuck in other peoples opinions of you.

Your lived life with them is what will stick.

How do you help them with homework at your mothers place .. do you do it on the kitchen table or do you have more privacy?