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14th year house bound

14th year house bound

Hi Everyone,

I am new hear, after being removed from other mental health forums for my depressive thoughts i thought i would give this forum a try, this is my story.

I am 33 live with my mother, i am almost compeatly housebound, i leave my house once in the morning for a walk at 6am and maybe once during the week, both times i leave the house fill me with great anxiety, i have no friends, (the last friend i had was in 2001), i have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and never been able to leave my parents side, my father died in 2001 and i have always suffered seperation anxiety the last time i had a night away from home was 1994 for one night (parents had to pick me up at midnight because i was so frantic).

I have spent most of the past 14 years in my room, or the shed, never much out of the yard, no one in my town knows me, people stare and ask each other behind my back if any one knows who i am.

I have only had an income for the past year and spend the previous 7 with no income at all, mum had to use all of her life savings to allow me to live with her and she now has nothing.

I only want to live long enough to care for her in her old age and then i plan to take my own life, i knew from an early age my life would turn out like this, but had no idea how horrible it would be, every day is the same, i often wonder why i keep going, i have very little contact with family (maybe once a year) and i am really struggling to keep going.

Please don't feel distressed about what i am saying, and i am so sorry if i have offended anyone, it is just how i feel.

Their is so much more, but i will leave it at that for the moment, i am shaking and the anxiety is kicking in so thankyou for reading and i will add more later.

Jacques

2719 replies

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In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

@SnowGuy

I love my mum too because she has made big big mistakes ........ And she works very to correct them ........

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

And yes... We are more evolved than our parents and our children are note evolved than us....... What do you think ? So you agree ?

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Sorry @Appleblossom - I think I'm just overly sensitive - particularly about my parents - they were both very abusive and even though mum was mentally ill the scars I have (physical and emotional) are hard to wear sometimes. I made an assumption I think because I was just feeling really flat and vulnerable which was wrong

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques how has your day been. I hope you managed a rest this afternoon.

Sorry I haven't been around today.

I couldn't manage more than sitting in the car shaking, chest pain and breathing awful.

I just sat and stared into space, it's been really scary so detached.

I don't think I can manage tomorrow. I don't want to do this anymore.

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Wow Jacques that's beautiful. Do you take care of the hedges yourself? That's a massive effort, congratulations. It looks wonderfully private, you are so lucky.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Not wrong, no need to apologise @Former-Member .... I value this sense of putting out and processing and reality checking and sifting .. I hope I didnt trigger you. .... Just tend to get the bull by the horns etc.

Not saying we should expose ourselves to further abuse ... that has been my problem ... I did that with my mother ... hoping others make better decisions than I did .. in my naive hope of forgiveness and family unity fantasies.

I have just posted about a scenario in the Carers forum ... that might explain ... the start of the stuff that went wrong with my mother and I as "adults" ...

and in the midst of it all ... food, laundry and gardens need attention.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Oh no Karen, you should have logged on and spoken to me, it is not good you having to deal with all this yourself. i am only too happy to sit and listen Karen, you need to get these things off your mind otherwise you will make things so much more worse for yourself.

Yes i do all the hedges myself, they need to be trimmed every 3 months, their is 24 of them. Oh yes, it is like the world does not exist when i am out their, all you can see is green.

I am so happy i can share this with you Karen, i feel that i am more connected to you when we can share our renos and gardens.

Karen, i am here tonight if you need to talk, your body and mind is preparing for tomorrow, i know this because i do the same, my mind runs away with terrible thoughts and it makes the anxiety really bad, please talk to me if you get too overwhelmed.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques I just don't know how to explain how bad this is. I feel that I've stepped outside my body and everything feels weird and strange. It's truly awful, lm so scared and I don't understand what's happening

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Karen, my angel, you don't need to explain, i get it quite often, i was detached today for some reason, as i said it is a way for the mind to protect it's self from trauma, or pending trauma, you have gone into protect mode, that is what i call it, when we can't control what is happening or going to happen we detach to cope.

I know how scared you must feel, i just hope it passes by tomorrow morning, if you feel like it is becomming too much, please call the hospital, they might admit you and give you something to settle down.

I know when our thoughts run away from us we always try to predict the worst, the most truly aweful things that might happen. Please remember Karen, things usually do not turn out as bad as we think. we seem to blow out of proportion what might happen.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

@Jacques your words will soothe Karen I'm sure, thanking you for your continued support of Karen.
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