14th year house bound

Jacques I'm still here and I don't want you to think that I could ever be upset with you.

J you mean the world to me you are so special sending you a hug

Karen

Oh thank you Karen,

I was so worried for your safty then i thought i said something stupid, i often do and realise when someone points it out.

Thank you for the hug, and i will send you some more photos of the garden this week sometime.

How has your day been? what did you and the girls get up to today?

Well i mowed the lawn his morning, OMG i only mowed 1/4 acre, how do you do 2 acres, you are so much fitter than me, anyway i was so exhauseted i slept the whole afternoon, mum was upset with herself she could not help me, but her knees where acting up and she was in tears from the pain.

My angel please remember you are never alone, i understand and you can talk to me if you like, you will never bring me down. i care for you so much.

Hi Jacques

I'm glad you spent some time in the garden, it's so healthy for you.

Please never think you have said something to upset me, you are the most thoughtful, kind, caring and considerate person I know.

I always look forward to speaking with you and when I'm not I think about you.

The girls and I went shopping today as a treat for such a tough week. They had fun.

We went to the park, then we went home and did some dancing.

I'm sorry your mum is in so much pain with her knees. It must make you feel quite helpless when she is distressed. I'm glad she has you Jacques.

Take care

Karen

My angel,

The garden is the only thing that brings me some happyness now, planting something and caring for it, it is so nice to have colour, we have 20 lime lights around the yard, they are nice but our whole yard looks like a tennis ball, lol

Thank you My angel, i am always worried i am going to upset you and lose you, i don't know how i would cope without you now, you are my best friend, you are the only one who totally understands.

OMG nothing like retail therapy, hehe, i hope the girls got something nice, i am glad you try to do something nice for them to compensate for rough times. I hope the girls do get past their fears and anxiety, so many children are controled by fear, i know i was.

The parks are awesome, since you have been telling me how you take the girls to the park i have been going to the park on my day out, they are so peacefull and calming, not many people use the parks in my area, it is such a shame, it is manly only tourists.

OMG some more dancing, i wish i had their energy, they do like dancing, have you thought about getting them into dancing lessons? they might make some friends, and do what they love. just a thought.

Yes it is very distressing, some days she just sits in her office and balls her eyes out because of the pain, other days she can barly move, that is why i do most the housework and cooking, it took me ages to learn how to iron and put quilt covers on, lol.

I just hope i can hang on long enough to care for her Karen, i don't know if i am going to make it, that is why i am trying to get the house finished, so she can sell the house if she needs too, she is so kind, she says she wants to leave it to me, but once she is gone my time is up.

Jacques part of being your friend means that I have to accept what your destiny is. Just for the record I want you to know that I don't agree with you.

J I see you with a productive future and a happy one. You are so talented and gifted. It breaks my heart the thought of you not being here anymore. I wish I could help you see what I see. I'm so fortunate to have you as my friend.

The girls would love to do some dancing but the anxiety for them is too much for them to manage. It's so sad that they can't do what they love.

They also wanted to learn how to play the guitar but that didn't happen either.

The girls got a watch each at the shops, I thought it would help them to learn to tell the time. Of course one is pink and the other is purple.

Could your mum have a knee replacement or something that could help her? It sounds terrible.

I need a knee replacement after my husband reversed into me with the car. But I haven't managed the appointments to have it looked at.

The girls love the park as long as there isn't too many people. Then we have to go home.

Unfortunately everything I do revolves around the girls and their anxiety. Then l have to deal with mine. It's so exhausting.

See Jacques you really are a SNAG....not only can you renovate, gardening, computers, cut hair, cook, clean,look after your mum unconditionally, Dr appointments, trips out and are the most awesome friend ever.

You'll make some girl really happy one day.

I'm sure there's more things than this that I don't know about......

Sorry Karen, I did not mean to upset you, but I do have to plan for these things, I owe mum so much for destroying her life, I am just trying to car for her as best I can.

I wish I could see my future like you do, sorry Karen it is not my intention to upset you.

it is such a shame the girls struggle with anxiety, I missed out on so much when I was their age because of anxiety. maybe some private guitar lessons might work if you have enough money.

OOOOh watches, I hope they learn the time quickly, a watch is very important thing to have. I have so many of them, my father was a collector of watches, lol

Oh Karen that is terrible, I do hope you manage to get it fixed. you have suffered so much.

my mum is frightened, the hospital in our area has buggered up a lot of knee reconstructions so she is going to hold out as long as she can.

It must be so difficult to see the Irish like that and have to deal with it, it is not fair children have to suffer like this, and yours on top of it, I understand how you must struggle with it all. I suppose all you can do is get them help and love them as much as possible.

Karen you are too kind, I don't think their will ever be anyone for me, I am going to be my own fault for not being able to meet someone, plus I don't want to ruin a ladies life with my unstable mental problems.

I could not bear to ruin another person's life, women deserve to be treated like pricesses. I can't offer that

Karen you know me better than anyone I know, you are such a good and supportive friend

I love watches too I have so many of them.Jacques I'm having a lot of trouble with my internet so if I'm not around it's because of that. Nothing you have done or said.

J I care so deeply for you that is why I don't think you would be better off not being here.

OMG, lol , it is good to know I am not the only one. that is OK Karen, I was just concerned last night when you left all of a sudden.

Thank you Karen, I will hold on as long as I can. you have a nice little family Karen, cherish it, once mum is gone, I will have no one