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14th year house bound

14th year house bound

Hi Everyone,

I am new hear, after being removed from other mental health forums for my depressive thoughts i thought i would give this forum a try, this is my story.

I am 33 live with my mother, i am almost compeatly housebound, i leave my house once in the morning for a walk at 6am and maybe once during the week, both times i leave the house fill me with great anxiety, i have no friends, (the last friend i had was in 2001), i have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and never been able to leave my parents side, my father died in 2001 and i have always suffered seperation anxiety the last time i had a night away from home was 1994 for one night (parents had to pick me up at midnight because i was so frantic).

I have spent most of the past 14 years in my room, or the shed, never much out of the yard, no one in my town knows me, people stare and ask each other behind my back if any one knows who i am.

I have only had an income for the past year and spend the previous 7 with no income at all, mum had to use all of her life savings to allow me to live with her and she now has nothing.

I only want to live long enough to care for her in her old age and then i plan to take my own life, i knew from an early age my life would turn out like this, but had no idea how horrible it would be, every day is the same, i often wonder why i keep going, i have very little contact with family (maybe once a year) and i am really struggling to keep going.

Please don't feel distressed about what i am saying, and i am so sorry if i have offended anyone, it is just how i feel.

Their is so much more, but i will leave it at that for the moment, i am shaking and the anxiety is kicking in so thankyou for reading and i will add more later.

Jacques

2719 replies

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In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Jacques never forget that you are a kind, caring, compassionate, thoughtful, gentle, talented, sensitive new age guy. J you are the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

Karen

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Well there you go .....now we know bits of you Tony.

Absolutely like the sounds bit
I get like that about shadows

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Positive Affirmations

My life matters

I am here now

I have a right to my feelings

I choose to forgive myself for the mistakes made and learn from each one

I am a worthwhile person

Give yourself the compassion, friendship and support you would give anyone you care about

Listen to the air. You can hear it, feel it, smell it, taste it.

Obstacles are there to get around, climb over or scramble through.

It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.

To look up is joy.

Let the past drift away with the water.

No matter my physical,mental,social,or spiritual condition I am still valuable. My life has a purpose and I am in equal value to other people. I have my own unique value and personal identity.

Jacques I'm thinking of you my friend stay safe

Karen

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Thank you my angel

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi My Angel,

Hope you are ok today, thinking of you.

Jacques

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Karen,

You sure have learned lots of the last 2 years. 🙂

You are doing much better than when we first met. Great progress!

Tony

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Nik,

The company I worked at many many years ago would occasionally bring in a paticular pychologist for group team building sessions. He had a perspective that resonated deeply with me. One of my colleagues at the time had some struggles (I later figured out it must have been severe depression/anxiety), and that psychologist had recomended he read a book called "Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality" by Anthony de Mello.

I read that book. Then I discovered some other people in my office also knew of that book. It became like a life bible for me. I refer to it as being on "The Path".

When I had managed to get through my first bout of depression, I had stumbled onto The Path on my own. It kept me well. It was amazing to read Awareness.

For many years, I stayed on The Path. Eventually I let the little things in life pull me off The Path, and I relapsed.

When I was diagnosed in December 2013, many of wife's friends, who also happen to be counsellors, recommended ACT for me. I looked into it and found that it was similar to Awareness / The Path.

ACT is recognised as one of the most effective treatments for depression. It focusses on mindfulness and accepting what is. My psychologist showed me the techniques to get through anxiety and helped me reconnect with the concepts in Awareness - to find The Path again.

I think of ACT as techniques, exercises and ideas to help you to find The Path. It is really hard to get there when you are in grips of mental ill-health. But then again, mental ill-health is often the catalyst to find a better way.

The book Awareness is available on the internet in many forms including YouTube where you can hear de Mello speaking. The book is word for word the same. This link is to part 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y3Q7H2urto

A rather convoluted answer, but I hope that helps.

Tony

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Try some meditation ; uding breathing exercises
See Dr Gillian Ross's CD
Called meditation 2 or meditation for the third eye they are same just different titles
It's easy to do
I find it best in a quiet room after a cuppa and a shower..,..
You might try a meditation group in your area
Best wishes hope you find some peace
Al

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques

I feel that you are struggling I'm really worried about you.

If you need to talk or just vent I'm here and I care about you. When you hurt so do I.

Keep safe

Karen

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Tony

I did manage to get a copy of awareness, but I haven't been able to read it yet.

I find it extremely difficult to concentrate and understand things, I get easily confused.

It's been a while since I read a book. I was reading 2 to 3 books a week now I just stare at the pages.

I hope you are having a better week

Karen

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