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14th year house bound

14th year house bound

Hi Everyone,

I am new hear, after being removed from other mental health forums for my depressive thoughts i thought i would give this forum a try, this is my story.

I am 33 live with my mother, i am almost compeatly housebound, i leave my house once in the morning for a walk at 6am and maybe once during the week, both times i leave the house fill me with great anxiety, i have no friends, (the last friend i had was in 2001), i have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and never been able to leave my parents side, my father died in 2001 and i have always suffered seperation anxiety the last time i had a night away from home was 1994 for one night (parents had to pick me up at midnight because i was so frantic).

I have spent most of the past 14 years in my room, or the shed, never much out of the yard, no one in my town knows me, people stare and ask each other behind my back if any one knows who i am.

I have only had an income for the past year and spend the previous 7 with no income at all, mum had to use all of her life savings to allow me to live with her and she now has nothing.

I only want to live long enough to care for her in her old age and then i plan to take my own life, i knew from an early age my life would turn out like this, but had no idea how horrible it would be, every day is the same, i often wonder why i keep going, i have very little contact with family (maybe once a year) and i am really struggling to keep going.

Please don't feel distressed about what i am saying, and i am so sorry if i have offended anyone, it is just how i feel.

Their is so much more, but i will leave it at that for the moment, i am shaking and the anxiety is kicking in so thankyou for reading and i will add more later.

Jacques

2719 replies

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In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hey Jacques,

Sorry, didn't mean to make you feel like I feel sorry for you. It's just that I care, like you do for others on this site.

Sometimes I think I could survive this world if people were more compassionate towards others. I think the way we have set up society, it's a dog eat dog world, and there is so much hate...for people that don't even know each other. Makes me very sad and disheartened. But being on this site and seeing how people care for others gives me some hope for humanity 🙂

Sorry to go off on a tangent! I think I had a point in there somewhere lol.

Take care
Phoenix82 😉

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi @hiddenite
I can understand why you have such a strong feeling about the research.

In my experience 'double blind research' doesn't have to do with one person getting one treatment and getting a placebo.

Research is only allowed with strict ethical approval, often through universities. They would not be able to run unethical experiments that risks damaging someone or not treating a child who needs it. My understanding of research is that they would have to provide you with information on the research, along with information about the ethical approval they have received. While you can't go into specifics here, have they provided you with that information. @CherryBomb may have some advice, as she knows a bit about the academic research world.

Please keep faith in the process. The psychologist hasn't put you with someone else because they have given up on you - if they have, they wouldn't try to move you to someone they feel can assist you better. It would be easier for them to just continue to see you.
It's hard, but please don't make a judgement on this until you meet the next person.


It seems like you're quite distressed tonight. As Lj mentioned, it's really important to reach out to Lifeline or suicide call back service. Will you do that tonight?

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

what is, is .. Karen ...

we could say every human on the planet deserves a loving family ... but reality leaves us with just a batch of flawed, yet amazing, struggling vulnerable and strong people.

What is your objection to the double bind trial.. I tended to relinquish control and agreed to all the family therapy interventions when my girls were little ... is that why I have lost contact ... I dont think so ... the therapists were actually more honest with me than my mother but that is my story.

your daughters are individuals ... and will have different responses to different things in the life ... is there anything wrong with that? even stephens breaks down as children pass through their milestones ...... do you think the trial is too invasive ...

are the decisions between the two psychologists linked?

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Appl

Hi Appleblossom

I just don't thinks it's fare if one child receives the placebo and the other doesn't. I struggle enough with the guilt of not leaving and the trauma they have suffered.

It doesn't feel right

In response to: Hi Appl

Re: Hi Appl

Hi @hiddenite - see my post above re: placebo

I have also dropped you an email.

In response to: Re: Hi Appl

Re: Hi Appl

Thanks @hiddenite for responding directly to my question and your concern makes sense to me.

I had a set of very triggering experiences about choosing one child over another when my girls were about the same age as yours are and it would send me into agonies.

I dont know enough about these medication trials ... but keep talking about it with @NikNik and maybe somehow you can get access to the right information to make a FULLY informed decision.

What are all the issues? (Not saying you have to tell us all ... just asking ... keeping the questioning process going.)

YOU ARE SO RIGHT AS A MOTHER NOT TO BLINDLY CONSENT.

If they are truly double blind you arent supposed to know whether they are on placebo or not ... but do you get advised at completion of trial ... how long is trial for ... if there are dicrepancies between the girls behaviour and flare ups what fdo the psychs propose to do ... you could also think that there are side effects in medications and there are no magic pills really .. so maybe the placebo could be right for one and not the other...

Just trying to help Karen ... I wouldnt want to have make this decision and then feel abandoned by system. Please keep reaching out others may be more informed than me.

Good Luck ... its a tough call

In response to: Re: Hi Appl

Re: Hi Appl

Hi @Appleblossom

I made an assumption this wasn't about medication because it's through a psychologist - @hiddenite - is that correct?
Is it about a type of psychotherapy?

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

I am so sorry Karen if i am making things worse by what i say, i am trying to help as best i can, it is not about standing up for yourself, it is just about your choice, ultimatly you are their mother.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi @Phoenix82,

I know, you are a kind soul, you have sumed it up beautifuly @Phoenix82, people seem to have such a hatred toward each other in the real world, i am trying so hard to remove myself from the world, i have isolated myself over 14 years, comming upto 15 soon, i have worked so hard to remove myself from society.

lol, i am glad to read your insights into the world, it is good to know i am not the only one who feels the world is uncompassionate.

Thank you @Phoenix82, you are a wonderful person, i hope one day you are able to beat your MI.

Jacques

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Dearest Karen,

My friend. You are someone I care about very much. Even though you will shut your eyes to this .......
I Love your love to your children while fighting your own demons
I don't want to beat about the bush
But
Does it help
If you turn around your Psychologists decision
And see it as "a coded rule "
That to be a Psychologist
You are not allowed to get to be too caring to your clients ?
This is how I see it at least.


I have been witnessed breakdowns of at least 2 of them. Two well known ones.

You can feel like how your feeling but
For your children's sake and a new way of thinking
Can you at least whisper that it's a rule that Psychologists need to adhere by ?
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