Oh no...menopause!!!

One more thing, my sister who I live with asked me when would she know if I was faking the symptoms, after I got up the courage to tell her the gps diagnosis. Believe me, she'll know lol.

And she breezed through it..didn't change a bit..jusy stopped her periods. Mind you it's the only thing that has happened to her without any drama..lol

Good night @Baileyboy, @utopia, @Change123, sleep well and peace be with you 🙂

Hi @Baileyboy,

I went through a major breakdown in the years before I officially entered menopause. This perimenopause time was worse on my mental health than what I have gone through for the past couple of years since my periods stopped. I think that's partly because it was all much more new and bewildering when this process began with perimenopause. By the time my periods stopped, I already had started acclimatising to the process of change we go through at this time of our lives. Here is what I have noticed in Menopause itself:

. yay, my periods stopped!

. I gradually put on weight over the years of perimenopause and menopause and went from size 12 to size 18. However, during this time I also started two medications associated with weight gain when I was diagnosed with bipolar. I think both menopause and medications have contributed to the significant weight gain. I also have a protruding and bloated belly a lot now, which I didn't before this all started.

. I started getting slight hot flashes with perimenopause, which have increased a lot during menopause itself. On the recommendation of my GP, I take Black Cohosh, also known at the pharmacy as 'Remifemin'. This has helped a lot with the flashes, but they still break through to some extent. I am also generally very inclined to overheating with much more sweating than previously (but I also live in a warm climate).

. After about 18 months without a period, my general health and energy levels declined. I developed some arthritis and other physical symptoms which interfered with daily functioning. These are now being well treated by my GP and things have improved there. It's important to me that I have a thorough GP who also knows about my mental health. She has contributed greatly to my better wellbeing with menopause.

. My GP talked a number of times about the possibility of me starting on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). But I have elected to go through menopause without this. As others have said, it is a natural process and I want to go through it as naturally as possible.

. My 'looks' have gone downhill with menopause (again a natural part of aging). Grey hair now (which I colour). Fatter face. Weight gain around the neck and jowls. Pouches under my eyes. Skin a bit drier (but I live in a humid climate, so not so bad as it would be otherwise I think). My feet and hands get puffy with fluid retention. More lines on the face. Gravity generally taking more of a visible toll, as skin loses some of its former elasticity. I sometimes get self-conscious and sorry about these things. At other times I laugh at the process of aging. I have become less vain of these things than I used to be, which I attribute to some wisdom coming with the aging process too.

. Memory has declined to some extent and I too find lists a lot more helfpul than I used to. My general intelligence level is still fairly good though. I don't think I've noticed much change there.

. I am now celibate and don't really miss the wild excesses of my younger days with sexuality. That aspect of life is associated with a lot of difficult emotional times and I don't miss those either. Libido is okay though and I am able to 'pleasure myself' effectively and regularly. I feel that I am left more at peace by men when I walk down the street and treated more liked a 'lady' on the whole, which I like.

Menopause varies from woman to woman to some extent. An attitude that is (almost defiantly) as positive as possible, helps me get through it fairly smoothly, despite a lot of gradual changes happening.

Sending best wishes to you and all other women on the forum going through menopause. It's certainly not as scary or unpleasant as I feared it might be.

Thanks @Mazarita

For me I have definitely noticed the corrolation between the times of "not having periods" and being more in control with MI than now when I have them back again. I'm feeling ok now, pretty sure yesterday was just hormones now.

Another interesting thing I have noticed is when I'm back to having my periods I always feel cold but when I dont thats when I get the hot flashes. As this is the first one or really 2 I have had in the last 3 weeks since 9 months ago will see what happens next time. If it continues to give my BPD havoc I may look into HRT as its not just the anguish for myself but what I cause at home as well. My aprtner is understanding when it suits him but if he isnt in a good way mentally he can lecture me and get angry that I havent got strategies in place. It hard to explain to a guy what its like when hormones take over and rationale isnt always there even though you may think it is.

Anyway the VIT D has helped a lot and I'm just trying to be very disciplined all round, like now when I get home I'm doing excercises to give me more of an outlet. Have to admit I was bad last night had 2 strong brandies which settled me down but I made myself do my excercises first so I felt a bit better.

Has anyone had experience with HRT and did it improve your MI?

@Baileyboy, the other thing I forgot to mention in my above post is that my skin in general is getting a bit more fragile, easier to bruise and I get some broken capillaries on my ankles, back and even around eyes and face. In general, I need to be gentler with myself physically and take a slower rhythm with things.

Hi @Change123, I really understand your concerns in relation to the effect of hormones and MI on your partner. I have a companion I live with and he is also an unofficial part-time carer for me. We had much more difficult times (mainly due to my MI) earlier on before I was given proper medication for my bipolar. Part of why I am so diligent about taking my meds now is that I am more worried about the effect of my moods on people I love than on myself. If I was in your position I too would consider HRT. I have a friend, post-menopausal now, who was a very angry person before she started HRT. She swears by it and is as gentle and sweet as can be now. I too take Vitamin D every day. This is partly because I do spend a lot of time indoors, despite getting out sporadically for beach walks in a sunny climate. But I get what you are saying about how it can be a good thing to take during perimenopause and menopause too. I have heard elsewhere too that it can help some symptoms of MI. Hope to hear more about your thinking and progress with exploring HRT over time.

Hi @Baileyboy@Mazarita@utopia@Former-Member

Here is one study that talks about depression and how "vulnerable " women with MI can be effected. Its not long just has a few things we have talked about.

https://womensmentalhealth.org/posts/proving-the-estrogen-withdrawal-hypothesis-of-perimenopausal-depression/

Anyway I'm feeling a lot better now that my periods have finished so will see what happens ie. when I get them next and how I feel and if it messes me up again, if its does I think I will discuss HRT options with my GP. Its been a very wild rollercoaster the last 3 weeks but made it through and feeling positive again.

One thing I have learned with this is dont see a male gp, I had years ago and his response was " hormones who knows" I thought great. My GP is good but when I can I see another GP who is in her 60's and gather she has gone through it, so I speak to her to get her experience knowledge as well. Not against men but how can they understand something they cant experience.

Hi @Change123, glad to hear you have got through a rough patch lately. I agree with you in general about male GPs. I have been seeing my lovely female GP now for about 9 years. Prior to that I struggled to even get more than one male GP to organise a pap smear for me (let alone do it themselves). There will be exceptions to this, of course, but with these kinds of female issues, female doctors have been best for me.

@Mazarita@Baileyboy@Former-Member@utopia

This is some research based on BPD and peri-menopause.

Its long and a bit complicated, havent had time to read it all but hopefully it may help us understand things about ourselves.

Thanks @Mazarita I feel almost "normal " again, no speedy feeling, not all over the place with emotions and about to cry or smash something! Feel quite calm and happy

I only get pap smears via female GP's now, I dont know if it was my "perception" but I remember when I was in my early twenties the male gp actually sent me to a specilist for a smear test, I gather he was too embarressed to do it (what a joke) anyway I was in my early twenties and the dr was about 60 plus and I dont know but he made me feel dirty - cant explain it just his mannerism the way he did it and then he wanted to check my breasts and that felt very awkward like he enjoyed it - I actually went straight home and had a shower thats how dirty I felt and ever since only go to a woman. Having said that I was having issues with polyps and had a check up in the hospital with a lady gyno and she was awful. Used a steel one that was ice cold, was very rough and hard - I was in agony during the check up and later had cramps for a couple of days - absolutely awful. The GP I have now is very good.

Hello @Change123, @Baileyboy, @Mazarita, @Former-Member, @utopia

how is everyone today xx

Hey @Shaz51 been off for a few days. Been reading everyone's posts tonight and don't want to get into the habit of blaming everthing on menopause, if you know what I mean. But, @Change123@Mazarita@Former-Member@utopia so much of what everyone is saying is way tooooooo familiar to ignore it.

Just don't know what to do about using the contraceptive pill to not have my period but I am so scared of my response to have those obvious symptoms. The gp who started me on them was male and just wanted me to shut up about the psych affects they were having on me. He also "councelled" me about my MI due to Catholic abuse and has since been taken off the register almost in that he can not do any councelling and can not prescribe any MI drugs, even basic sleeping ones. I used to think of him as a mini god, couldn't see that he had me hooked on way too high doses of anti depressents, anti psychotics and narcotics to the point where if I didn't describe a "scene"from my abusive childhood he would withhold medication. I was like a zombie and couldn't see how bad my MI was. It was only the other day that I said to my brother-in-law that I thought this guy had almost ruined me. He said that they thought they had lost me.

The point of all this is that it's now a softly softly approach and these menopausal symptoms definitely don't understand this way. I don't know if anyone else has been flagged using the red 'b' word but really, how can a woman talk about their priods without mentioning the obvious?

What happens if I fall in a heap? To be honest I have never had a sexual relationship, other than to be sbused as a child and one date rape situation which I've never talked about anyway. As for pleasuring myself as @Mazarita talked about I don't really get it. How can I feel pleasure from any sexual feeling and there I have found a problem! Menopausal or MI or both but lately I've been waking up almost in agony, not the right word, but having feelings down there that are obviously sexual, no partner involved, to the point that I do release "stuff" , and then I just feel so ashamed. I really dont6know what to do and I can't explain it to anyone so I am just retreating into myself, feeling like I am almost abusing myself. I have obviously had some physical reaction in my abuse as I became pregnant but miscarried. When I tried to explain all this to my gp who has/is usually good she said " so you enjoyed it sometimes". Nothing could be further from the truth, so I just shut up. What if these menopausal symptoms are dragging up what she called " liking it"

In case noone has caught on..der...I'm so confused and now I am frightened to check with anyone about my menopausal journey. As is obvious I am vet niave abot all things sexual, don't even like the word " sex" , so I guess that's one of the reasons I started the thread in the first place. I get that it's natural but I don't know how natural or MI my own resposes are...

What do any of you think. I'm really not coping at the moment.

Bb