My Hospital Stay

Almost at home @Zoe7. Another 20 minutes and then I can breathe again.

First hours back home.
Greeted 2 dogs. Mum took other dog to LortSmith dog shelter. I just can't manage 3 dogs. Big cry.
Saw my bed that my big Labrador has been sleeping on most nights. Stripped the bed. Vacuumed bed. Powdered bed.
Clothes almost ready from washing and to hang up to dry. Then doona, sheets, etc to wash - thanks Big Dog!
Feels strange standing in my own house. Fridge empty. Have to go shopping. But little motivation. Really just want to crawl into a clean bed and sleep. But have to make the bed first.
Seeing my psychologist in an hour. I've emailed him during my long hospital stay when I've had any AHA moments. But todays session will be more about coping for the next few weeks (he's going on holidays) & staying away from alcohol. 56 days I think now. But the urge is there. As soon as I walked into my house. Drink and sleep was what I wanted. Old habits. So I've been cleaning. Reading through AA pamphlet. Patting dogs.
Think it will be a 'one minute at a time' type of day/night.
Feeling teary, but stubbornly refusing to cry. Save that for the psychologist. Lol.
Bored. Unsure what to do next.
Will simply breathe.

Hugs @utopia .... 💜💕💐🌷🌿

Baby steps @utopia. One little step at a time. I hope psychologist goes well.
Bummer your dog 'owned' your bed while you were away. Mine does too even just for the day.

Psychologist appointment went really well. I really needed the debrief after a hard 56 days of in and out of hospital.
He reinterated that my body is reacting on a cellular level - a remembered physical body and mind response - to stress and traumas.
So the plan is to remember the 80/20 rule. 20% of life is stressful. And my body reacts according to how it has in the past.
80% of life is okay and parts even enjoyable. My 'homework' is to focus on 'happy' memories. Things that make me smile. Things that interest me. As the body and mind also remember these feelings on a cellular level.
So tonight just watching light tv. Will take my meds now and be in bed before 10.30. Going to get down to minus 4° tonight. A good night to come home. Lol.

@Shaz51. Yes you and my forum family make me smile. I'd be lost without this wonderful community. Support given to me over this tough time has been beyond amazing. I've felt the love, hugs, support and hand holding offered.
I'm looking forward to getting back to a place where I can support others on here again.

You're funny @utopia, hope you stay warm - get extra blanket out, rug up!!
I really like what you said re 80% 20% and focusing on things you like. I call it 'things that feed my soul" bring energy, calmz smiles, joy, peace... Stay strong U you're doing really well. Xox