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Long Term caring and it's problems

JoJo99Senior Contributor

Long Term caring and it's problems

Hi everyone, I am hoping to get support and advice from other carers. I have been a carer since I was 10 for my mother, then my husband and also my daughter. My mum is 94 and now in a aged care home but relies only on me. My husband passed away. My daughter is 29 and has an intellectual disability, depression and anxiety.

It has all finally caught up with me and I am suffering from depression. I do not work. My daughter has been living out of home for two years and I am considering moving her back home because I don't seem to be able to look after myself, only someone else.

I really would love to hear from other long term carers to see if what I am going through has been experienced by others and they could offer me some advice.

101 replies

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In response to: Long Term caring and it's problems

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Hi @JoJo99, it's hard to know what the right thing to do is. Do you have your daughter live with you or not?? Maybe it's a case of trial and error but wouldn't we love to have the crystal ball so we could make the right decision in the first place.

We all have our own story dealing with someone with mental illness and in the process often acquire one ourselves. Hope it's of some comfort that you have people here who care and will read your problems.

By the way, I love that you share anecdotes about your dogs.

In response to: Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Hello @soul , it's hard to know what the right thing to do is., I agree

no @JoJo99 daughter lives 3 streets away

In response to: Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

JoJo99Senior Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

thank you @soul I need that crystal ball !! wouldn't we love one. But then I suppose we wouldn't get the chance to learn and to help others 😛

In response to: Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

JoJo99Senior Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

@Shaz51 I think it will need to be 3 streets away for sanity's sake

In response to: Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

yes @JoJo99

I find it hard to get a balance , if i am calm and relaxed , my hubby is ok ,but You can`t be like that all the time , we all have our ups and down days

In response to: Long Term caring and it's problems

ritawilsonCasual Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

You deserve a medal. I helped with my sister's care from a distance, which was very frustrating. I now care for her son, now aged 30, with schizophrenia too. He lives in a flat with people coming in daily to check up on him. He lives a few blocks away. I try to do lots of things for me- I play piano and in a band, and volunteer at a nursing home playing and singing, and take my dog for pats...My husband is on dialysis, but we try to do fun things together...nothing is easy

In response to: Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

@ritawilson,My husband is on dialysis, is this for the kidney

In response to: Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

ritawilsonCasual Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

yes- so I am a carer for him as well... we do what we have to do. I wouldn't be able to have M live with us.. he is actually on his way over to have tea. He will eat, then leave straight away...We have had 4 phone calls from him today... I turn the phone off at night, otherwise he will ring anytime..2.30 am is common...we need the space

In response to: Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Helo @ritawilson

My husband has had Mental illness all his lfie

and I have kidney disease stage 4 and only one kidney

Hello @JoJo99, @soul, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Hi @Shaz51. You drew the short straw huh?

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