im back..... i think

Hi @Owlunar your always in my thoughts and i know when your not here- you need time out- that is very good self care. ive really only just started becoming active on here again- but selective of where i am

pain- only injuries and pulled muscles but i always have Nausea and its soo bad nothing ive found helps yet not even strong anti-nausea tablets. yet painkiillers works which is for pain relief which tells me there could be something more going on rather than just the anxiety.

the shaking is uncontrollable and soo bad and the headspins make me feel really strange- i even have them laying in bed-hmm-

my mother and no one else knows im on medications yet and i dont particularly want to tell them becuase im worried they will get thrown out and the tension will rise yet again. its still tense enough as it is and i struggle to be here at all. i dont really feel that comfortable at the other place i was staying either, if she catches me taking medications then she will ask what they are for more than likeley and then she will tell mums bf-her son.

its a really awkward nd hard situation. i ahve no where else to go except a hotel but i cant afford it

Sounds like Good times outlander!Hope the horse is getting better,it's hard with horses how many medicines you put in their feed...Wonder if they get it.I was hopeless with injections,the horse knew it too he played on me.My niece was good at them until a horse had a reaction and dropped dead in front of her, lost her nerve then.

yeah she will live the silly old cow @Former-Member

im shite but ill live-ive lived this long i suppose

nice- well im at home so i doubt it. my sister is sick with a cold- stupid parents letting their kids go to school sick and then passes it onto someone else. so while my depression is at a low point my anxiety is high because of my health anxiety

this is shite shite shite

I tried to get rid of you, scrubbed myself raw yet you still live in me
but yet you still continue to exist, your everywhere, how could that be
nowhere to hide but no one to tell, I kept it to myself

it all my fault, I agreed
so in one way I let him succeed
day after day, night after night
I continued to have this fright

The pain and nightmares become real
what am I suppose to feel
what do I say
when my hopes are fading away
im the walking dead
stuck with these horrid memories inside my head

@Former-Member ive just written this poem