Hello @outlander, Oh dear, you've been having a really bad time 😞 Sending you lots of love and huge hugs 
My heads a muddled mess as it is whenever I return from the center of my Universe (or anywhere for that matter:)) I feel completely different, as I would expect after having different experiences for a few days - they say a change is as good as a holiday 😉 I feel good, but there's always a touch of bad mingled in there somewhere. The Brain doesn't choose whether we feel good or bad, it just processes everything and our emotions are part of the result. I think something in our Souls help us choose good or bad, and I definately choose the center of my Universe to be good 🙂 
I hope the urges have eased for you and that you've gotten you Sister to the doctor to ease her cough. My littlest Grandbaby has a nasty cough, I helped out with a humidifier and aparantly it has eased that dry, hollow, almost like the bark of a seal, cough.
I don't think you've had a lot of smiles recently, feel free to use mine whenever you want - it's sitting there on your right shoulder, waiting for you to try it on ( . . . don't worry it's a cyber-smile, you won't get any of my rotten teeth :D)