im back..... i think

@Pepsimax@NikNik@Former-Member@Shaz51@Anony18

it has just gotten a lot harder for me

so in the last two hours ive SH and still fighting the urges

I went to my horses and the bullies were there, they werent near me but they kept staring at me. I cant take it anymore! Then I got my horses in and have now discovered my horse has an eye ulcer and now I have to get the vets out to treat her eye. Weve had a horse with an ulcer before and it requires going there to the paddock to treat her twice a day- antibitics twice a day, I have to syringe her eye with saline water then treat it with a cream as wel designed for ulcers
so theres that. I now have to clean out two paddocks everyday if not twice a day.
And ill be by myself because sisters are at school and its pretty much a one person job anyway and my mother is at work during the day for both times

aand the horse with the ulcer has to go into the sick yard which guess where it is- its attactched to the friggin bullies yard! I have to see them everyday if not twice a day now. This isnt going to be fun at all and I actually have to partly go into their paddock to get to my horse. So great even better

and im among going to the horses twice a day- treating horses and cleaning paddoacks and filling waters, caring for pop and getting him to the places he needs to be, horse holiday if need be, my sisters riding lesson cleaning the house and keeping up to date with everything, I still have to go to my nurse on wednesday morning after I take the kids to school so I wont have time to get to do the horse unless im up super early t go down there cause by the time im finised there itll be time to get the kids and go back there, then on thursday ive got my psychitrsit appointment in the monring so again same predicament and then again on friday when I have to go to my gp in the morning but I can get the horse done after there on friday

how the heck am I going to do that all on my own- its just taken me 2 hourse to do the horses and that was with help let alone one my own

remember how i was saying i have absolutly no privacy!!! At all!!

Well ive just realised the only spot other than my car i thought was private was my underwear draw and guess what not even thats private! !!
Not friggin happy! I cant wait to move out!!

I dont have anything private in there but if not even thats a private spot then where is

never got into anyone elses draws not even my pops unless im asked to by that person who owns them and i get exactly what they want out of exaclty the draw they tell me too. i think its rude to go through other peoples draws.
my sister comes out last night and said ive put your clothes that you had on the floor into the basket. i said thank you- i left the clothes folded on the floor as i had to duck out quickly and was putting them away when i got bac. and then when i went into my draw this morning of all things my underweear had been put away and not by me and they were my new ones that i had brought that were WITH my folded clothes that i was going to put away. hmm. and my mother has been into that draw so many times as well. and i knew she was in there recently as she put an envelope with her savings in it in the draw and i didnt stick it in there.
so now i really dont ahve anywhere private and now it doesn surprise me if they go through my car and things too now
as if i needed this right now and as if i didnt feel trapped and out of control already now i find they go through my intimate draw! mind you if they need a storage spot stick it in my socks draw- whihc is RIGHT underneath my intimate draw.
its not alot of private things in there but it did have my nans funeral bit from the news paper and also the cards ive been writing to her on her bday and xmas- please dont judge on that
so now i really have no where. i dont know what to do or where to go. it really set my depression even lower as it makes me think what kind of person am i if they are going through my initmate draw wow thats just really scooped to a new low for me

Hi @outlander

I hope it helped to get that all out.

It seems like one thing after another today! I can understand why it's been a tough one for you.

I'm not sure if you want to talk more about what you have posted or not, so feel free to ignore this - but just wondering if you have let your family know that you feel like your privacy has been invaded. Maybe when you're a bit calmer you could share with them how important it is for you to have your privacy and by going into that particular draw, you felt like that breached your privacy.

Nik

Maybe when you're a bit calmer you could share with them how important it is for you to have your privacy and by going into that particular draw, you felt like that breached your privacy.-- I agree @outlander,

what about the bullying and horse situation @Shaz51 @NikNik

Hi @outlander

Argh, sounds like the last thing you need!

The way you have described your physical reactions at the moment makes me think that focusing on getting your heart rate down might be a good idea. With that, hopefully your shaking and stomach pain will subside.

I know before you mentioned your list wouldn't be helpful, but would you reconsider it for now? Just to help you settle a bit?

Nik

Great - here is your list:

Drawing

Journalling

Poem writing

Mindfullness

Art

Being busy around the house

Going for a drive

Listening to music

Chatting on the Forums