Safety

Are you with Dog and Bunny @Eden1919 or are they asleep. I know you get paranoid - is this what you are scared of - people watching you and you not feeling safe?

dog and bunny are asleep i am scared that the people watching me will break into my house and do horrible things and that someone is following me and waiting to hurt me i am scared these people are everwhere and could be anyone even if i saw a pollice officer i would not open the door because i would be scared the person would be impersonating the police to get to me. i am scared they are tracking me online and tracking my phone and i am scared they could be anyone.

Give Dog and Bunny a hug for me when they are awake then @Eden1919

Your fears are very real and very present for you. It is a horrible place to be and it is no wonder you are so frightened. Making sure that you are somewhere that you can feel the most safe is important. I feel the most safe on the couch with Toby. Some people feel safe in their bedroom (that is my least safe place!). Where is the place you feel the most safe Eden?

Oh @Eden1919 That is a horrble feeling to have If you feel like crying then cry - I have done a lot of that tonight too. I'll hand you the (virtual) tissues!

I have a question for you buddy - do you feel safe on here talking with me?

i feel mostly safe talking but i still think someone is watching everything i say so i cant say certain things

That's ok @Eden1919 you only need to say what you are comfortable saying. The great thing is that this is somewhere that you can feel some sense of safety Feeling mostly safe here is a huge positive.Our job tonight is to allow you to feel that safety here and to try to distract you from some of the fears you have surrounding you.

I think it's pretty common for paranoid thoughts to get worse when you're tired. Harder to control the incoming thought processes maybe?

I know someone who does mindfulness exercises to help manage these kinds of thoughts. Is that something that's ever worked for you @Eden1919?

Try and do your best to remind yourself that you are safe, and that you can get through the night. We are here to support you. What do you think you might need right now to give you the strength to jump in the shower?

Just saying that you don't feel ok is really positive @Eden1919 You are not trying to hold it all in and consume you completely - you are letting me know that you are not doing well at all. I hear you - and it is a very, very tough place to be. I understand that you don't want to do this all again tomorrow - and who would!!! But tomorrow is another day and we need to try and find just the smallest bit of light we can in each day. I have Toby and Cat - you have Dog and Bunny. We both have 2 fur babies who love us and we love them - that is my light - it may not be much but it is what I have. We both also have the support of wonderful people on here -that is worth gold to me. I am here by your side - keeping you safe and letting you know that I am standing with you and holding your hand so are not alone.

Don't worry about the shower tonight Eden. Wrap yourself in a blanket or your doona to feel some security around you. Place a chair or other object behind the doorso it cannot be opened by anyone but you - make your room a sanctuary for you, Dog and Bunny (and me by your side). You got this Eden - and I am with you