Second ITO: After moving my husband applied for a job and got it. It did not last long. He stopped his medication and eventually accused his boss of being out to get him. He thought he had a tracking device inserted in his arm and teeth, he believed our house was bugged. His anger increased to the point he smashed the windscreen of our car and I called the police. He ended up in a mental health unit again. He had to continue with injections as a condition of the ITO. This lasted for about 12 months. The ITO was lifted. He stopped taking his medication again. We moved again, to a rural property in an effort to provide him with something to do in his day.
The frustrations for me at that time that even with the high profile of depression and anxiety and to a lesser extent schizophrenia, there was very little understanding of delusional disorder. I went to support groups, rang help lines saw a psychologist but I could not come to terms with what our life had become, still trying to protect my family, including my mother who now lived with us and trying not to upset my husband. His illness was the basis for every decision I was making.
Third ITO: With no medication behaviours started again, accusing my mother of things, my father of things and me of poisoning him. I had had enough. I left. I put my mum into care. My children had all finished school so they were no longer living at home. I contacted a brother of my husband and told him. I was not going to invoke another ITO so he did. Once again he was admitted to a mental health ward. When he was released he went to live with another brother until that option ran its course and now he is back living in our home. He continues to get injections as he knows he will not take it if left up to him. Apparently he has some insight into his illness now but I have not discussed this with him as the memories of previous efforts to do this are still raw with me. The medication has significant side effects so his day is mainly spent in bed. He initiates nothing and will only go anywhere if suggested by someone else. So while life is not perfect, he is easier to live with. Our relationship is more like friends and to me we are still separated and I go about my life more independently now. However I do not have a little four year old.
A psychiatrist once said to me, "If I was sick, I would want to know that someone would look after me" so going down the ITO road was the right thing to do. It would have been much better if if my husband had accepted his illness and accepted help but that was never going to happen.There had to be a straw that broke the camels back. A time when enough is enough.
I am not sure if leaving earlier would have been a better option but if I had done that I am not sure what my husband would have done. The illness has really affected our family but the kids are starting their own lives. Their relationship with their father has really been affected and the boys especially struggle with that.
If I could go back, I would go to my GP earlier and get other family members involved earlier so I didn't have to deal with it all on my own, so I had other people to help with my decisions.
