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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi nest-dwellers,

Wow, the nest seems quite crowded right now. My brain is way too mushy to remember everything I just read about everyone's news. How did you manage to respond to everyone in one post @CheerBear? I would need to take notes to do that...and my brain is too mushy to take notes.

@Former-Member it is nice to "meet" you.

@Former-Member I am so very very sorry to hear about kitty. I can't imagine how awful that must be for you. I certainly know the agony of a pet's passing, but I have never experienced a pet going missing. The whole situation sounds horrendous. It is totally understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed with grief.

@CheerBear I think I am still enjoying my awesomeness of yesterday. However I have a cold and thus I feel rather yuck...but physical yuck feels much less yucky than mental health-type yuck. Basically I've spent most of the day in bed and done absolutely nothing productive...but somehow it still feels different when this is due to a cold rather than crushing depression. Weird! I didn't even manage to read any of TBKTS while I was snuggled in bed. I hope to get back to it over the weekend.

I love that you got a gift from a relative who is a total stranger (which is different to having a totally strange relative ) and that you were able to use it to buy yourself something super nice. I am super excited about your new project. I have read your story about your blanket, but I read it on my phone when I was out and about and I wasn't in a position to write a response. It is such an awesome story and I haven't felt I have been in a good enough headspace to write a response fitting for such an amazing story. You are definitely superly duperly awesome.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Nice to "meet" you too @Phoenix_Rising

Hope your day has been swell ❣

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I love the colours of the wool @CheerBear 👍💜
Sounds like your day went ok. I hope you're feeling ok this evening.


Yes, it is a busy nest @Phoenix_Rising 💗
Thankyou for your kind words.
I can't wait for this terrible sadness to lift off me. It's awful.
I hope you recover from your cold soon.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Nighty night @CheerBear @Phoenix_Rising @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Former-Member and everyone. Sorry if I missed anyone. I'm super tired and am having trouble remembering. 💜💕

I think I'll stay here where it's safe and cosy.
Things are really bad between hubby and I, making depression worse.

Thinking of @Former-Member and @Faith-and-Hope too. 💜💕👋😙

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Oh and nighty night to @mudsum 👋💜

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hmm! I guess that I shouldn't have had coffee and chocolate after dinner. 😮😣😨
I don't normally do that.
Have taken extra sleep meds too.
Oh my gosh! So tired, can't sleep.
Looks like all nesters are snoozing. 😴👍❤

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning nesters

@5ht - I used to use crafty stuff as a bit of a reward for getting through piles of uni work. Looking forward to hearing that you've gotten through uni and are able to enjoy some down time. This yarn does feel fabulous in touching it and running through the hook. It's amazing how much smoother it is to work with good quality stuff.

@Phoenix_Rising - tabs, lots of them haha 😛 I uae my phone almost of all the time to post as well, which gets tricky especially when I want to upload photos. Sorry to hear you've got a cold. I definitely would take yuck coldy feelings over the mh yuckness, but it would be nice if you got a break from all yuck feelings for a while. Do you like soup? Huge fan here when I'm sick. Hope it passes and you feel better soon. Thank you for reading my story too. You're stitched in oodles of those stitches 🙂

@Former-Member - how did you end up sleeping last night? I feel sad that you and hubby are having a bad time at the moment too. Does he understand how tough things are at the moment? ☕💗 for you.

I left all the house stuff alone last night and buried myself in a world of calm and peace in the beanbag by the (working - wohoo) heater playing with my new pretties. It was so nice to feel so chill for a few hours. It's not so nice looking at dishes and washing and fish supplies scattered everywhere this morning though - oops! Off to get moving on it all so I can enjoy the day ahead.

😊

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Former-Member ..... message above is for you too ,... 💕

Hi @CheerBear ..... 🤗💕

Hope you enjoy your day.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

There's often someone I misspell and miss tagging (another downside of using my phone) 😕 . Thanks for the pickup @Faith-and-Hope 😊

Hope you have a nice day 💗

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Happens with all of us @CheerBear ...., 🤗

Think my fingers are a bit big for the keypad on my phone .... gets pretty funny sometimes ..... one wrong letter is my Autocorrect Faerie's cue to start switching my suggested vocabulary for hers ..... lol ......

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