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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you @Zoe7 💜💛💚💙

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey all 🙂

@Former-Member - I had a really awful thing happen with my most precious baby that's kind of similar but not. Obviously the pain of losing a loved pet is big big big, but adding the weeks leading up to it wouldn't be helping you at all at the moment. Thinking about you often.

Hey @Shaz51 - how have you been? What's for dinner where you are

Love polka dots too @Former-Member 🙂 I've been reading about some of the struggles you've been having recently. Sorry to hear. Have you been able to do any knitting?

@Zoe7 - haven't caught up beyond here (skimming through too). Hope the rest of your day has been ok. Bunnings and Spotlight are usually neck and neck for me but right now I'm drooling over the pretty wintery things to make so Spotlight is in the lead.

Hi @Former-Member 🙂 nice to 'meet' you

@Phoenix_Rising - you still enjoying your awesomeness from yesterday?

@mudsum - chek in to see how you're going tonight?

I had something super mega excitingly fun to do today. I got a very random and very lovely gift sent to me from a relative who is a total stranger (have only met them a couple of times and haven't seen them for close to 20 years). It was one of those total out of the blue happenings that came at such a great time (not that there's ever a bad time to be given a random treat but you know what I mean). They wanted me to do something nice for me so I've spent some time working out my next mega project. I definitely need another journey blanket with all the good that came from the last one and put the gift into that. It meant buying yarn based less on the cost than I usually would, and a lot more on what I actually wanted to get. I have only really been able to do this with the occasional little project (like with that unicorn yarn I got one ball of the other week). I used fancy things like a calculator and maths (so totally not my strong point) to work out the amount I'd need, researched where to get it for the best price and then settled on my colours. I've chosen an American heathered acrylic (because wool itches me) which might not mean much to many but it's the difference between flat singular colours and reallllly pretty stonewashed look colours. I remember first drooling over this yarn ages ago and thinking how much I wished I was able to make something out of it and now I have it with me 🙂

Here are 3 of the 8 main colours I'll be using

This is very much one of those things that just feels really good for me and will definitely check the self-care boxes, hopefully keep me anchored a little while this whole messy thing goes down.

Hope it's a good night for everyone (as good as it can be) 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Nice to meet you too @CheerBear ❣Awww that is so lovely & such a beautiful surprise. Hope you are well today.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear bunnings is definitely my favourite but I can see why spotlight would be at the top of your list for winter

@Former-Member hiya - how wa your day?

hi also @Former-Member

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi hi hi @Zoe7 my day hasn't been anything interesting. I have been in bed all day - Zzzz.

How is your throat? Is it getting any better? 😞

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

No @Former-Member still extremely sore but it does tend to get worse at night.

I wish I had been in bed all day - haven't even had a nap - so hopefully that will help me sleep early tonight!

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Aw no 😞 Remember - just keep hydrated & drinking & drinking. Although,, I suppose that can hurt too. Poo.

I haven't slept in bed just haven't moved and binged a bit of Netflix.. otherwise - just have been the mess that I am. aha. So crappy

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

No not yet, but in 3 weeks I finish work so I'll have the time then. I have a huge pile of uni work to do atm and just trying to keep my head above water.

Oh, that wool is beautiful - love all three of the colours.

Do they also feel nice? I really love the tactile-ness of using nice wool to kint and feel between your fingers.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Had some 2 minute noodles @Former-Member - not good for me but had to eat something!! Would have preferred some steamed veggies but knew I couldn't swallow them - noodles were easier but still hurt.

I am going to log off for a while - have been on for hours and need a break. Catch up with you later

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

2 minute noodles are my guilty pleasure 💜 Take care @Zoe7 X
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