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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
Oh my gosh! Vacuuming 😂 I've been known to mop at this hour. 😂 Oh nice, a kitty cat crocheted. 🐱💟👍 Only if you feel like doing that. Rest or crochet, whatever makes you happy. Ok now shower. 👋💜
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member - thank you 😊 Hope you're doing ok this week
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Whoops forgot to tag @CheerBear😀 Above msg 💟
In response to: I'm in a nest
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@CheerBear ❤ ❤ ❤
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hope you're doing ok tonight @outlander. I haven't been around too much beyond the nest walls tonight 🙂
In response to: I'm in a nest
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I know @CheerBear its great you have your nest to retreat too 💚💚 just book a gp appointment for tomorrow morning
In response to: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Happy break-place day @CheerBear!!!!!! I super super super SUPER love the jellyfish. I shall name him squishy and he will be my squishy. 😊😊😊😊 I also super love that you are going to make me a new head. I definitely need a new head. Gee, twenty years in the mental health system trying to get help with the muddle in my head and it turns out that all along, I just needed to find a not-friend care bear to make me a new head. 😆
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thank you @Phoenix_Rising🙂 We made it to break-place day. What a ride. I think I need some more gold stars for the nest! I'm glad you like squishy. I do too.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Right now I am in flip out, alert, danger, panic, run fast and escape now mode. I have to try to remember that while I feel out of control, I am not. I am doing this by choice because I know it is right. This situation is completely different to the last time I was admitted to a mh facility. I am completely different too. This situation is not the same as the last time I ran around packing bags and throwing them into the car and I will be returning to our house again without needing an escort from big ships. I am not saying goodbye to everything this time. While there are way too many similarities between how this feels and how massive big booms of the past have felt, this one is completely different. I can arrive at the break place for a break which I need, and I can return to this life and it will feel better not worse. These feelings are very real but they don't mean all the terrible things are happening all over again. I need to remember this. I can do this. I've got this.
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