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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

No doubt wishing there had been someone there with a blanket for you ..... 😔

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Yes, I was so sick @Faith-and-Hope,
I probably would have gone home on a tractor. My partner was O.S. The taxi driver was lovely, opened our gate, drove right down to the house, shut the gate behind him when he left 😊

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I am glad the taxi driver did his best for you .... that’s lovley to hear .... ❣️

@Catcakes

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good Luck recovering from your surgery.

@CheerBear

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

So, so glad it's almost over for you @CheerBear. How courageous you are, these are the difficult things we do, because we must for a better future.

I feel for you on the public transport, long ago had to sit for 8 hours on a greyhound bus, plus taxi's at each end, both ways for an operation - on my own as well.

Love the sparkly socks, and the wee knee turtle.

Rest well, ((((CheerBear)))) recover quickly.

Nice work on the Magical basket girl there too.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear, I hope you got some purry-furry Mouse-and-Noodle love after your epic trek, and some gentle LF love after that. Please try to keep 🐐 reined in while you recover (yes, I know as well as you do that in a day or two she’ll be busting to break out the power tools … the snippering can wait, truly). Take good care of you. 💚🦄

I love that you have something to share (that was definitely the highlight of my day, along with catching a glimpse of a certain little butterfly). I’ll try to be around more so that hopefully we’ll bump into each other in the teeny hours. 💚

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

(One of today's highlights was seeing you twice today @Former-Member 😊)

Thank you for the reminder about 🐐. You're very right and you know me well. She is struggling with going slower already. Purry-Furry feels 💗😊 Hope you furry fish is giving you them also.

I want to ask how you're going but I don't want to put pressure on you. Listening eyes looking out and ready though, and thinking feels/respect being sent always. And I know I'm not alone with thinking this way.

Little hours sometime 💚

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I know slow is tricky for you, @CheerBear. I hope it doesn’t have to be for too long. You’ve done the scary super hard bit, you’ve totally got this recovery business. You’re awesome. 💚🦄

The universe must think I look like a bus depot, because I have a fleet of buses squishing me—and more seem to be arriving all the time. The ‘you do not matter’ messages are very loud with so many buses roaring at me. Breathing is a bit tricky right now.

Real life support is non-existent and I really wish it felt safe to share here and reach out for support and connection. I’m feeling incredibly alone (because I am incredibly alone). Sometimes I think I can do it, but then things happen here that change my mind (and that makes me really sad). I am super grateful for you and @Phoenix_Rising and others here who care and are respectful. Thank you for being you. 🌷

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I really wish the world stopped with those messages and those buses @Former-Member 🙁 And I wish it felt safer for you to share and be supported here.

I'm very glad our paths crossed and I'm glad you know we care 💚 I like you for being you (as plenty of us do).

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks, @CheerBear. Even though I'm struggling to be here, my world feels much less empty knowing you and a few other special people/turtles are in it. I'm very glad our paths crossed, too. 💚

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