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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope. 💜
Example
One receptionist at private neurosurgeon said they can’t get MRI or EEG or reports from public hospital
Other receptionist said I have to get them
Finally public hospital receptionist said private hospital receptionist has to request them
This sort of thing goes on every day. 😳🙃☹️😝🤓🤪😪

I could go in and on, but I won’t

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thankyou @Zoe7. 💜😘
Now I’m crying
This is so shitty
Thankyou everyone
It’s so hard

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I’m crying because you’re so sweet @Zoe7 and everyone
Too hard to tag. Sorry ❤️

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

D is all I have
😪💜

Ok be positive

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

awww @Former-Member don't cry or I'll need to get some more mugs for your tears lol

Sorry you are being treated so badly - it should not be this hard - stupid system

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

It’s scary @Former-Member ..... just take it step by step.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Bloody stupid lol
I have to swear @Zoe7. F F F F F lol.
It’s my daughter
Not sure if you know the story

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Breathe
It’s ok to cry
Just raving on so I don’t feel alone
She can’t
She won’t die
It’s ok
Right???? 😢😪

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Yeah I know a bit @Former-Member

I was referring more to how much 'running around' you have to do between the public and private systems - should not be that hard to 'talk' to each other Patient care should be the priority so YOU don't have to do all this yourself - you have enough to worry about with D and the 'system' should be helping to make it easier rather than harder

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

It’s just unbelievable
@Zoe7
It never used to be so difficult
I’ve learnt to follow everything up
Shouldn’t have to but that’s the way it is
Now they might get several MRI’s etc. lol
I definitely followed it up. 😂
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