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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hope the Forums will be able to provide you with the support you deserve during this time @Former-Member...take care of yourself tonight. Hope you get some rest 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thankyou @Former-Member. 🌷

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I am devastated for you @Former-Member ...... 😔😔😔💐💜💕

I saw dolphins tonight. I hope the thought of them can comfort you just a little.

I don’t know what else to say ....... holding D and you in the light and praying for you both.

💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕🐬💕💐

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thankyou @Faith-and-Hope 💜❤️🌷🌹🌸 😪 🐬

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi to anyone in the nest at the moment ☺

@Former-Member I'm thinking of you hoping that things are as ok as they can be for you today. And @Former-Member same with you also. Listening eyes plenty here on the forum if talking might feel ok, but understanding it may not too.

I wanted to share this because I have shared the whole journey here. It's my highlight of the day so far (which I have spent mostly recovering from a tummy bug that hit late last night, and in the air con because of some pretty decent heat today).

I finished part 17/18 of the epic project ☺

It's taking the final circular shape now, which I am watching come together quite quickly. It also means I only have four rounds to go and it will be finished completely (right in time for the middle of summer and I'll end up having to pack it away in a cupboard somewhere but that's ok!).

😊

Hope the day has something ok/good in it for all

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Feeling alone and really sad @CheerBear. 💜🌸

D is out, but it’s good for her to be busy.

Not much to say. Trying not to think too much.


I love your crochet work. Amazing. 💕💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Alone and really sad feelings aren't nice ones at all @Former-Member 🙁 Sorry to hear. Is D out for the day or is it an overnight out?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Out for lunch. I couldn’t handle an overnighter at the moment. Need to see her in her own bed at night.
Hopefully soon I’ll stop worrying.
It’s hard watching her go out the door.
If anything ever happened to her, that would be the end of me.
But I HAVE to be positive.
I have to.
Only found out this week, so still getting over shock. 😪🌺🌸

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

We don’t have private health cover, but can’t think about that.
Public waiting list can be up to 3 months.
Too long to wait for something so serious.
@CheerBear

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I can understand how it would be so hard to not have eyes on D all the time @Former-Member. Are her friends aware of what's going on?

It's a shock and it's going to take some time for that to settle, I'd imagine.

Oh dear with the health insurance also 🙁. That's a stress but it makes so much sense that waiting 3 months would be too long for you.

Hugs 🐛🐝🐌
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